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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Depressed Friend

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Author Topic: Depressed Friend
sarahwashere87
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Member # 37807

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Hi Everyone
I posted about my problem at the end of October (http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/3/t/009421/p/1.html#000000)
Well it's gotten worse, and now I feel like it's hit a different level.

One of my good friends has been moopy for a couple month's now. It started after he broke up with his gf.
I didn't confront him about it, for a couple reasons one being that I'm awful at confronting people, and at that point I just couldn't handle being around him.
Anyway, I haven't seen him in person in a while and I was talking to his roommate the other day and he said that my friend had stopped going to class, was sleeping all day, and just seeming very pessimistic about the world.
Now not only am I worried about him, but I feel bad for not trying to encourage him to get help a month ago.
I'm still feeling like I don't have the energy to deal with him, and that makes me feel guilty all over again.
I just need some advice on what to do. His roommate is thinking reporting him to the therapy center on campus and I'm thinking that might be a good idea, but at the same time I'm worried about the repercussions of doing this.
I'm also feeling like if I keep worrying about him, I'm going to end up at the center myself. I know I need to talk to him, and I blew him off again tonight because I'm not feeling good, and I didn't feel like fighting with him. I really wish that he had someone else in his life that would tell him he needs help.

Posts: 22 | From: United States | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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Member # 17924

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It's OK and normal to feel pretty burdened with this sort of thing. So don't feel like you've been a bad friend or person for not helping more.

If you and the friend can collaborate and get him some help, I think that would be ideal. That way, you have someone to back you and talk to in case you have a hard time talking to him. At this point, there have already been repercussions of his depression: I don't think trying to get him help is going to make anything any more worse, to be honest. I would, however, first suggest that you and the roommate, if willing, talk to him together before "reporting" him anywhere. If he can make the decision on his own, that's better than you doing it for him. But if worse comes to worse, and he won't do it for himself, you may need to step in and talk to someone on campus who CAN get him to get help.

And don't forget to take care of you too, OK?

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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