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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Ok, here it is

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Author Topic: Ok, here it is
Member # 40892

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Well Im basically just venting here, but me and my ex just recently broke up 2 weeks ago, after we broke up I immediatly started seeing someone else, we werent going out but we were together.

Anyway on Monday the girl Kayla decides she dosen't like me anymore, not a big deal, my my ex found out how we hooked up one night and she was really upset, infact it seems like she hates me now.

I was just on the phone talking to her about everything and it turns out she didn't even like me anymore during the relationship, but the thing that hurt me the most was how she regretted doing sexual stuff with me.

We were our firsts for basically everything but hooking up with eachother, and I thought everything new we tried ment something and was special, but she just told me how she regretted doing those things and how she felt like she was going to throw up while she was talking about it.

Im going through alot in life right now, my dad has cancer and these girl problems have been stressing me out lately, I have even thought about cutting myself and telling my ex that Im going to but it wouldnt be right for me to do that, but I HAVE been thinking about doing it anyway and I just don't know what to do.

[ 11-21-2008, 10:08 PM: Message edited by: WarwickKid ]

Posts: 24 | From: Copiague | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 36501

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My bet is that she's upset that you hooked up with someone so quickly and that's what making her say those things. If all that you did together truly meant nothing to her, then I doubt she would be bothered by you seeing someone else. I'd say she did care a great deal (maybe not as much as you, I don't know...) and so now she's pissed off at you for having a new relationship so suddenly and that is colouring her memories and feelings about you and making her feel regret and distaste towards doing sexual things with you.
Have you thought about seeing a counsellor? Here we can commiserate and offer moral support, but trained counsellors can give you strategies to deal with issues like this, and help you feel good again.

Posts: 61 | From: Canada | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 40892

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Ok, well I just got a text from her not even 3 mins ago, this is what it said.

Well im sorry, but i think we should each go our seperate ways. i really dont feel like playing these games anymore. im sorry but i just dont want to be friends anymore

this just crushed me, like idk wat to do, i just want to erase her from my life but that won't help at all, nd i just idk

Posts: 24 | From: Copiague | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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As hard as it is, you need to respect her right to decide her relationship with you, and try and move on.

Especially with first relationships, it can be very crushing to end things poorly; nobody wants to walk away from a bad relationship. But we can't always control how relationships end or the manner in which they continue after they end. For whatever reason, your ex has decided she doesn't want to be friends/have any sort of relationship, and you need to accept and respect that.

It will take time to move on, believe me. Erasing her from your life or moving on isn't going to be instantaneous. It'll probably hurt for a while, and you'll probably have a hard time with it, but it will happen.

I second strumpet's advise on the counselor: especially with your dad being sick and your recent changes in mental state, I think it'd be a very, very good idea to talk to someone about how you're feeling.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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