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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What to do afterwards?

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Author Topic: What to do afterwards?
Member # 40496

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So when my girlfriend and I broke up, it at first seemed hostile and immature, but I did write all my feelings to her in a letter and then waited. She responded back in a way which I thought was very mature, apologizes for the way everything has been, and understanding that it is best to spend this time of our lives focusing on making our individual futures the best they can be. We have both reached this understanding and do not have any feelings of resentment. My question is, we both really to not want to shut each other out of our lives, and we want to stay in contact( we have both always been able to talk openly about our lives and feelings to each other), but I am not sure if this is appropriate if either one of us should ever decide we want to have a relationship with someone. Is there anything wrong with this? Both of us feel that, we could never see each other as just casual friends, but we know that a romantic relationship at this point in our lives wouldn't be beneficial. Is there any middle ground between casual friends and a romantic relationship? Where we can talk about emotional issues and get support from one another. Is this something that should be reserved only for a romantic relationship?
Posts: 36 | From: California | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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It might be easier to transition into a new relationship model if you take a break. You were very recently in a romantic relationship so why not give yourselves a month or two to get used to not dating? Reduce your contact with each other to a minimum and take a real break. After your break it should be much easier to start a platonic relationship. You'll be out of the habit of dating each other.

To answer your other questions, I actually thing being able to talk to one another and support each other is a huge component of friendship. I don't think it's wrong or even unusual to maintain a close relationship with an ex; you two did have a significant relationship and it's not like that history just goes away.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 40496

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thanks so much for your help!
Posts: 36 | From: California | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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