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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Is this really love??

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Author Topic: Is this really love??
Member # 35635

Icon 4 posted      Profile for Disenchanted88     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, I am really asking for a friend of mine.
He has been with his girlfriend a while now, he told me that some time last year they broke up for a few months because they live quite far away since he is at uni, but in the end wanted to get back together.
Okay, that seems pretty straight forward and normal, but here is the thing, even though he is with his girlfriend, he has cheated on her a couple of times, maybe more, I cant say for sure. He says that when he is around her he doesnt think of other girls and wants her, but when she is away he doesnt feel like they are in a relationship, she apparently gets very jealous if he is even in a photograph with another girl!
He told me the other night that this girl is the one he wants to marry...But how can he say that if he does this? ALso he mentioned that he might not love her as much as he thinks he does!
Any advice I can give him on what do think about with this relationship? Does this sound like something that will last? I am stuck becuase I dont know his gf. Help. Thanks. Sorry if this didnt make sense :-S

Posts: 26 | From: Wales | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 40220

Icon 1 posted      Profile for earthtobellax     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Love means different things to different people.
There's also many different types & ways to love someone.

However, many people would say that before marriage or anything more serious comes up in his thoughts, he should be honest at least with himself and sort out his feelings, since he seems to change his mind a lot.

Posts: 14 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Icon 1 posted      Profile for JamsessionVT     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I wanted to point out that, as someone who is also in college and still with their partner (who is at a different college) and living apart from one another, it is very, very normal to feel like sometimes, you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, even if those two people talk all the time.

So what he's feeling isn't out of the ordinary. However, I'd have to agree with earthtobellax that, given the fact that he's cheated on her multiple times, it seems like there are some inconsistencies in his behavior. He may also be discovering things about her personality, like her jealousy, that he didn't know about before.

You say you are asking this for him, but unless he specifically asked you for your input, it is really not up to you to decide whether this is love or not. (I don't mean that in a rude way, but simply as only he can determine that; your opinion of love may not be the same as his or his partner's.)

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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