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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » why does this keep happening to me?

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Author Topic: why does this keep happening to me?
hunnybunny888
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Member # 29737

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SO I will meet a guy who i think is pretty cool outside a structured environment (school, extra curriculars etc.) just like through a friend or something like that. And I'll just want to be friends and I'll be a little flirty, but I'm really a little flirty with everyone of both sexes, especially when just meeting people, to me flirty is just being a bit extra friendly or nice. and several times in the past year this has led to the boy beginning to like me, and then when finding i don't like him that way back, him wanting to end communication because he can't be just friends. And I know and see lots of boys and girls who are just friends and a little flirty with each other, and I just don't understand what I keep doing that is making people be interested in a relationship with me so much that they can't even be friends
Posts: 246 | From: canada | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hunnybunny888
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Member # 29737

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and it always just ends with me feeling like a horrible person but just not quite sure what i did wrong
Posts: 246 | From: canada | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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Member # 17924

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You're not a horrible person, hunnybunny. I think what you have to do is be careful of what kind of messages you're sending to people. Too, it's good to be aware that for the vast majority of people, being flirty does mean you have a romantic interest, not just that you're being nice. You can and should separate the two.

So, you don't have to stop being nice, nor should you stop meeting new people. I would just suggest toning down the over the top part, if just to avoid sending the wrong message. You can't help how people interpret what you do, but you can check your behavior to make sure you're trying to send the message you want to send. So when you meet someone, male or female, you don't have to go out of your way to be nice to them, or over the top friendly. Just be yourself. You'll probably find it'll help.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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