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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I'm worried she doesn't respect me anymore.

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Author Topic: I'm worried she doesn't respect me anymore.
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I'm new to the boards, so I'll give this a shot. I'm stuck in a position I don't know how to react to.

This great girl and I have been on and off for a few years now, never getting physically intimate. Just this last week, we spent a few days together just walking, talking, and they were great. I felt we finally were in a position to have a serious relationship. Just the other night we finally were together for the first time, only I'm embarrassed to say, I had trouble getting an erection prior to intercourse. I'm 23 and have never had any problem like this. I personally felt it was a bit too fast, and was somewhat nervous, although she seemed somewhat frustrated during/after due to the "lack thereof".

I explained to her how I felt, and she said it's ok, she was nervous too. Now I don't know if I'm just being paranoid at this point, but it seems like she might be avoiding my calls and texts. I don't want to come off as the type who always calls and texts and seems needy, but I haven't heard back from her for a couple days now.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, as I really have strong feelings for this woman.


Posts: 1 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Honestly, if she is avoiding you because you were nervous during sex or couldn't get an erection, then this probably isn't someone you really want to be in a sexual relationship with. Though this is the first time this happened to you, commonly men will simply not always get erections when they or someone else wants them to, just like women won't always be aroused or lubricated when someone wants that. Human bodies just are like that.

But that may not be what is going on: perhaps she has something else going on in her life, perhaps it all felt too fast for her, too, perhaps she just feels awkward. I'd give her a few more days and if you still don't hear from her, give her a call or an email yourself letting her know you're wondering if everything is alright and really need to hear from her.

If she still doesn't get back to you at that point, I think you're possibly going to just have to let this one go.

[ 08-29-2008, 03:15 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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