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Author Topic: The most unavailable guy! And I want him!
Disenchanted88
Neophyte
Member # 35635

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Ok here's the story...
I recently moved into a flat for my uni course and there are a couple of third and second years living here. Everything was fine when I first arrived with getting to know people. But now, I have started havibg feelings for one of the guys I live with, I still dont know him very well, but we talk a bit when he is downstairs, he spends a lot of time in his room and I hardly get to talk to him.
Now here is the biggest problem - he is 1000% unavailable to me, not only does he has a girlfriend but one of the girls in my house (a second year) likes him too! Nobody knows I have feelings for him.
I dont know what to do, seeing as he is a 3rd year it means he will be leaving this house next year, but this is annoying for me because he is the first guy I have really liked in AGES. I dont tend to just like anybody, but now I finally do its someone I can never have!
I would love to be really good friends with him, even if it means I cant have him as anything more, But I dont know how to go about doing that. Like I said he spends a lot of his time upstairs in his room, when he is downstairs he seems quite quiet and its hard to talk to him and also he is leaving next year and I dont know how close we could become as friends in that amount of time. Totally confused here. I havnt met anyone else I am even slightly interested in besides him either! Help :-P

Posts: 26 | From: Wales | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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He's unavailable.

Seriously, that's all you need to know.

I hear you saying you would love to be friends with him, but what I also hear (look even at your title: you're not talking about friendship) is that your real interest is romantic, not platonic. So, why pursue a kind of relationship when that's not what you want, and when you know that what you do want simply is not an option right now?

Do you really want to forge a platonic friendship, or are you just looking for any way to get involved with him in the hope it'll lead to a romance?

[ 09-19-2008, 03:54 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Disenchanted88
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Member # 35635

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I realise he is unavailable, and therefor I am not going to try and persure my romantic interest.
I am still going to try and have a friendship with him though. So can anyone advise me on the best way to do this with a guy who spends time in his room a lot and seems quite quiet.

Posts: 26 | From: Wales | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Do you really WANT to be his friend, though?

Again, I'm asking that because you seem to really be expressing romantic, not platonic, desires in regard to him.

If you really do want to be his friend without an agenda, and he's a room-hanger-outer, you can just knock on the door and ask if he wants to hang out, grab a bite or a coffee break, what have you. If he's responsive, and you two do go hang out and get along, a friendship should develop pretty organically over time.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68006 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Disenchanted88
Neophyte
Member # 35635

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I really do want to be his friend, even though I have feelings for him, I also like him as a person and I feel he is someone I could really get along with as a friend. I am just one that doesnt want to ask him to do something just to have him say no or reject me politely. I dont like to take risks.
Posts: 26 | From: Wales | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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