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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My girlfriend wants Tongue Ring

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Author Topic: My girlfriend wants Tongue Ring
BluKnight01
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Sorry if this post isn't exactly supposed to be in this forum, it kinda stretches over a couple. Anyways, my girlfriend really enjoys giveing me oral sex. So much so that she has decided to get a tounge ring because she's aware of the (rumor??) that it makes oral even more enjoyable for the guy. She has other reasons as well for getting the ring but that was what her first motivation was. The issue is I worry that her getting a tounge peircing, especially with the intention of useing it during oral, could be dangerous for her. I've tried talking to her about it and getting her to explore the saftey issues with me but whenever I bring it up she dismisses it basically implying that I shouldn't worry about it because it's her body and it's going to feel good for me. How do I convince her to at least look into it in more depth?
Posts: 11 | From: McMinnville, OR | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Poetic-Destiny
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Well I think that you might want to ask her to go to a piercing parlor to get information on it.
I personally refuse to get a tongue piercing, they look unprofessional not to mention if you don't go to a credible place it could end up causing problems, such as damaging the muscle, or causing an infection that could spread.
If you are really against her getting her tongue pierced, just tell her out right, when she said that you shouldn't worry about it because it's her body, seriously, if I were you, I would be offended. you care about her, you care about her body, by her telling you not to worry it's almost as if she slapped you in the face. a relationship is more than just pleasure and I think you should tell her that.
Bring up that you don't feel comfortable, and when she brushes the subject off so lightly concerns you. If she really doesn't want to hear your opinion than what does that really say about her?

[ 04-27-2008, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: Poetic-Destiny ]

Posts: 2 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You know, we have to leave room for the fact that our partner's body is not our body. I have to strongly disagree that telling a partner that if they choose to make a choice about their own body you don't like it's like slapping them in the face is a sound attitude.

By all means, it's a good idea to research piercing safety and be sure to go to a reputable piercer. But just like a partner gets to cut their hair how they want, get a tattoo if they want, skydive if they want, have an abortion or have a vasectomy if they want, the same goes here. You can express a concern -- and certainly express that you feel you have no use for a piercing when it comes to your own pleasure, as well as make clear that you're the expert when it comes to your pleasure anyway, not them -- but at a certain point after that, you have to accept that it's their body and they have the right to do what they want with it.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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BluKnight01
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Yeah, I know what you mean. It's not necissarily that I'm against it, I'm just worried that it might not be entirely safe for her. I imagine it would feel good but that isn't even a consideration compared to whether or not it's safe and that shes doing it for her and not just me. Dose anyone happen to know where I might be able to find any more info about it that I could show her?
Posts: 11 | From: McMinnville, OR | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Here's a good page of basic health and safety information for you: http://www.safepiercing.org/oralRisks.html

We also have a very basic page on boy modification on the site: A Body Modification Primer

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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lozzy57
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I have a tongue stud - i assume thats what you mean when you say 'tonguering' because a ring would NOT be good on a tongue.

I have to admit, as a girl it makes giving oral more enjoyable for me, and ive been told (more than once...) that it makes it more enjoyable for the guy as well (especially if you eat an ice lolly or uce cube beforehand because the metal conducts the coldness)

BUT, peircing your tongue can be dangerous. Her tongue will swell up for a few days, and *can* be very painful - worst case scenario is it swell so much that she can't breathe properly, which is very serious. It can get infected, its hard to eat for up to a week, it makes your tongue go a weird white colour, and you have to learn a whole new way of eating. Once its in, theres the possibility that the balls holding the stuf in place will come lose and she'll choke on them, and that it could be ripped out, and if she develops the annoying habit that most people seem to, of tapping it against her teeth then it will chip the enamal off them.

On the other hand, it can look good, and if its what she wants then she should go for it. But ask her to consider if she gets it done with the main reason being you, then how will she feel about it if you and her break up. Is it what she really wants to have when she starts looking for a job? Because you cant really take tongue peircings out for more than a few minutes, certainly not for the duration of a whole job interview! Has she thought about what her friends and parents and other family will say?

I have to admit that although i didnt get it for the sake of oral sex, many many people assume that I did, and when people notice it people either assume I'm a whore or hooker, or am somehow a lesser person, or even feel intimidated by me. Is she ready for all that judgement based purely on one glance of her talking?

Although she might assume that no one will be able to see it if she doest stick her tongue out, thats just not true, she will probably start to fiddle with it, and you can see it when youre talking as well.

Make sure she's considered all these things, and if she still wants to go ahead with it, then i suggest you just support her, and remind her to follow the safety sheet she'll be given, and please please try to make sure she goes to a reputable parlour.

Good luck x

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Chin up darling - knock yourself out!

Posts: 26 | From: London, UK | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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