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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » This is so confusing

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Author Topic: This is so confusing
Member # 35719

Icon 11 posted      Profile for zane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ok so i got this massave problem. i'v been friends with this girl for 3 months now and we both get on really well together, i tride to ask her out sometime withen the first 4 weeks that i met her and she said she just wanted to stay friends with me, i felt a bit rejected by that but decided yea ok i'll just be her friend.

after that we started to hang out more and grew more and more close. we pritty much know what the other is thinking now and we finnish each others feeling for her did'nt disappear they just got stronger.
At the same time she got with this other guy who i absoulutly hate.

the guys really funny but hes kind of a jerk.
he dumped his longtime girlfriend for no apperent reasion and got with my "friend" all withen the same week.

i'm still really interested in her and she knows how i feel about her but she's still with the jerk.

i actually considered breaking them up somehow and made myself think i was doing it for her but of course i would have only been doing it for myself and she's really happy being with him so i dont want to mess that up for her.

anyway as time went on we i kept seeing each other as friends and then just kept getting closer, then the last time i was staying over at hers we were out earler and had both been drinking. as we watched a movie together we where both cuddling close to each other and without thinking of what i was doing i kissed her, she pulled away and said no to me so i backed off and apologized to her but then she got close again and she started kissing me. after a while i stoped her and said we should'nt be doing this but she leaned in again. eventually we where both on the floor kissing for ages. we stoped and she said we would talk about it in the moring but the next moring she was pissed at me. she texted her bf and told him i came on to her and that i got her on the floor and would'nt get off of her. she said she did'nt really remember what happened and i could only remember half of it anyway so i felt a bit guilty at what i had started. so we havent talked much in the last few weeks but she's been texting me a bit and we talk by e-mail to. i think she still wants to be friends but she's stuck between wanting to be my friend again and not upsetting her bf by talking to me.

my main problem is that after all of that
i still think i might want her and if i'm going to be her friend again i need to make sure i dont hurt her again.

any suggestions on what i should do??

Posts: 2 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 24638

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Airem     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well this kind of situation should be a red flag for you my friend. She really turned on you when she left out the part that the kissing was mutual when she told her boyfriend. Also you really should have taken more of a stand and stopped her at the beginning. I know its tempting but at some point you have to put a stop to it and accept that its not right. Honestly in my opinion i think you should keep your relationship with her text and emailing only for a good while.

As The Shadow Follows The Body, As We Think, So We Become.

Posts: 157 | From: Athens, Texas, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
While I agree with Airem, I want to make sure you understand that you have some responsibility here. You were the one how initially kissed her, knowing she was in a relationship with someone else. That's pretty disrespectful and to be frank, saying you did it without thinking sounds like nothing more than an effort to avoid that label -- especially after saying you've considered trying to interfere in their relationship. You cannot be friends with her if you're going to continue that behavior.

I'm also curious about why neither of you can remember this clearly?

“I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35719

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zane     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thanks Airem, i'v allready been only texting her and e-mailing since this happened. she dosent want to talk to me face to face anyway, and i know how much she has turned on me by lieing to her boyfriend, at this point i feel sorry for him because he does'nt know her as well as i do.

and to jill yes i know i do have my fair share of responsibility for what happened as i started it. as i said we had both been drinking that night and what happened was NOT what i would have done if i was thinking clearly

Posts: 2 | From: Ireland | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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