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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What to do...COMPLETE VIRGIN!

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Author Topic: What to do...COMPLETE VIRGIN!
Ann-Marie26
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Member # 35247

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Hey, so this is my first post but im gonna add at first that im happy i came across this page because i hope that im going to get answers.i cant seem to get any good answerers from my friends because they have no idea what im goin through seems there all more experienced than me. im am all around virgin. Never kissed a guy never had a bf never had any physical connection with a guy at all. IM 17 ! i guess its because im hard on myself sometimes thinking im not good looking. or i just cant put myself out there. i wanna change because id like to experience something new. some of my friends are like just get drunk ( when we go to party's) and just kiss a guy ! oh i get drunk... and i don't do anything i have no idea what to do with myself. HELP ME ! any suggestions?
Posts: 3 | From: St.John's Newfoundland | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SFgrrrl
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Well IMO kissing is sort of easy. For me it was awkward the first few times -so don't let anyone tell you it's not. But I'd say maybe the fourth time I attempted to makeout with someone I more or less got the hang of it. There are a look of books and stuff out there to give ideas on kissing. You can follow the other person's tongue around, you can mimic their motions, or you can make up something on your own. (and kissing a few different people can teach you a few different techniques). Like Nike, I say just do it. Find someone you like, build up some tension until you think they'd like to makeout with you, and just go for it. The first couple of times I kissed with tongue I didn't particularly enjoy it (probably partially b/c of the person I was doing it with) but it was a way to learn.

There are probably guys who would want to makeout with you, even if they aren't guys you're super-interested in. You can at least use them to learn how to kiss, if you want. That's what I did. Or, if that doesn't appeal to you, I guess you can just wait indefinitely like the rest of us... As to the drinking -can't say I've never tried it, but I don't think it necessarily helps if you're already prone to anxiety.

[ 09-17-2007, 03:02 AM: Message edited by: SFgrrrl ]

Posts: 207 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Narwhal
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Hi Ann-Marie. I definitely agree you're better off NOT getting drunk--while it does lower your inhibitions, that can be a bad thing for you, making it more likely that you will do things you wouldn't do otherwise and wouldn't necessarily feel good about.

I just wanted to add that if you were to kiss a guy or make out just to have the experience, that it's only fair that you let the guy in question know that you aren't trying to pursue a serious relationship. Feelings can get hurt when partners aren't on the same page, so being upfront about what kind of relationship you're interested in is always important.

Although really, if it's not something you are genuinely interested in doing for yourself, regardless of what your friends or anyone thinks, there's nothing wrong with waiting until you ARE that interested. You'll probably enjoy yourself more, too.

Posts: 147 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ann-Marie26
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well.. i wouldnt mind having a relationship at all with someone... its just i just cant see any guy being interested in me... i just dont know ?
Posts: 3 | From: St.John's Newfoundland | Registered: Sep 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheFlash
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You should listen to Narwhal. It's much better to enjoy what you're doing than to do it because others are doing it. If for some reason you decide to find out what it's like to kiss anyway, being drunk is just going to make the experience less exciting. It would help you be less nervous, but being nervous and excited is the major part of it, so you'd be missing out on the whole thing if you do that.

You may be slower, but also your friends may have been fast and missed the fun parts. IMHO.

Oh, and there's someone for everyone, so I'm sure there are some guys interested in you, but they are probably too nervous to tell you. Even if you think you're not good looking, all that means is that you aren't interested in kissing yourself, which is very difficult without a mirror. And let me tell you first hand, mirrors are not good kissers. Go try it, it's just not that much fun.

--------------------
Justice League Member

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emilybemily
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I uset to have the same problem, and had never kissed anyone until i met my current boyfriend when i was eighteen. Try just talking to boys, without always thining about whether they are interested in you, you'll be yourself more. Eventually you will find someone who loves you for yourself, without you having to get drunk and be someone that you're not. It does work- after trying so hard to find someone, getting drunk at parties etc, i met my boyfriend at college, and we have just got engaged. It will happen, just hang in there. :-)
Posts: 1 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Shade
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I didn't kiss anyone until I was just shy of sixteen, going out with my first-ever boyfriend; when it did happen, it was so natural that it was no problem. Don't get yourself carried away with the specifics or worry if you're a good kisser or not! These things come with time, as you learn what you like and don't like. It's so much fun that you shouldn't get hung up in the details!

As for meeting people, after my first boyfriend broke up with me I was desperate to get a new one and would flirt with guys that I wasn't really attracted to, just for the hope that they'd go out with me; DO NOT DO THIS. For the longest time I only felt like a complete and good person when I was with a guy, but it's such a difficult and terrible way to be, girl! Guys find confidence amazingly sexy; my current boyfriend told me that what attracted him to me was the fact that I spoke my mind. So don't worry about finding someone; if you're confident in yourself and unafraid of the big, bold world out there, you'll impress everyone you meet!

Hope I've helped a bit!

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The Divine Miss Shade

Posts: 15 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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