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Author Topic: Last Chance
TheCitizenErased
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Me and my girlfriend are really close to breaking up.We argue quite a lot now after 8 months.
Sometimes I dont even know why we fall out but its became quite clear now, I always get the feeling shes either in a mood with me.Its just the way she acts or says things but she will deny shes in any sort of mood with me.Maybe what I do is wrong and that is keep asking her but for some reason I dont believe her and this stems into an argument or a mood.
We love each other this I dont doubt and because we both feel a break up is inevitable we both said that we will remain friends and love each other and the reason why we broke up is because we just couldnt get along.
A few days ago we got back together after a big fall out and then the following day (even after us both saying that we will try and not argue) we argued and fell out.Last night we both agreed this was our last go but there wouldnt be anything stopping us going again in a few weeks time.
This is comforting in a way but I dont want to exploit this, I want this to work soo badly.
Even half an hour ago we nearly went at it again!
Later tonight Iam going out with her and Im really worried about us arguing and a feel there will be an atmosphere [Frown]
We really do love each other and want this to work
but right at this present moment a feel that it aint.To be honest I think its to early to tell.
Plz Help!

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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I read your post earlier today and have been trying to think about what to say... it's a really tough situation that's no fun for anyone. We can really love and care about someone but just have it not work out in terms of a relationship. In a way, breaking up is the "best" or most loving thing to do in this situation. For it to work, you two would need to find an alternative to arguing and truly and geniunely try to stick to it, then go with whatever happens in time (As in, she says how she really feels and you really believe her.)

What about sitting down for a conversation (or start by writing a letter) where you two have the chance to completely, entirely voice your feelings to each other. That you can talk and talk (with interupting each other or having others interrupt) for a start? Because it sounds like that big, open, honest communication isn't happening right now (and leading to the resentment on both sides)?

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TheCitizenErased
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Thanks Ecofem for your help.The last thing we wanted was to break up.Fortunatley for now we are still together and I went out tonight with her and everything was gr8 [Smile] Lol I dont want to jinx this.
We both know that every relationship has its ups and downs [Frown] but maybe this was just a rough patch [Smile]
Thanks [Smile]

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheCitizenErased
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To add another point [Smile]
When we argue its usually either over instant messaging or over the phone but roughly 70% of the time its over instant messaging.
My problem is I misinterpet things and worry too much which also leads to arguments [Frown]

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Im Always Wishing Too Late ...

Posts: 68 | From: The Blue Planet | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ecofem
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Glad it went well tonight, thegodfather! Hey, if it's seriously mostly the technology causing misunderstandings, it sounds like an easy solution: Take a break from the instant messaging between the two of you! [Smile] (I'd try to work on phone bit though.) Maybe just IM each other if it's something specific, like when or where to meet up, but otherwise just don't talk to each other that way. (I assume you're both local.)

Electronic communication has made keeping in touch faster/cheaper/easier in many regards, but it also can really complicated things. Like not being able to read tones of IMs. Personally, an ex and I switched to less IMing for this very reason. My current boyfriend and I don't even have each other's screen names. Granted, he lives next door, but this turned out to be the right decision for us. Whatever you do, definitely try to maybe cut back on it a bit for awhile, and I think it'll help!

[ 06-26-2007, 05:18 PM: Message edited by: Ecofem ]

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Ecofem
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Would it be possible for you two to go out more/meet up in person versus IM? Or agree on waiting to discuss stuff until you see each other face-to-face? [Smile]
Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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