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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » bf wants too much sex and I'm not in the mood for it

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Author Topic: bf wants too much sex and I'm not in the mood for it
cool87
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The thing is lately my boyfriend have been wanting us to have sex more than I'd like to. I'm been busy lately and when I happen to go sleep at his house (I just do sometimes because it's closer to university and it helps sometimes to study elsewhere than at home) he just gets close to me and hug me (and that is very clear he wants this to lead to sex) and when I say I'm busy he says something like : ''you don't want sex a lot lately, do you still love me ?'' and gets a bit frustrated.

Seriously, I don't know what to tell him. I like having sex with him (it's not a matter of me not liking it) but not when I'm busy and stressed like that. I just don't know how to stress that to him. Last time I did it because I thought I owed it to him. I feel sorta like pressure to have sex.

[ 06-07-2007, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Airem
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I think you should just have a sit down talk with him. Tell him that it's not because you don't love him anymore, it's that your stressed and really haven't been in the mood.

''you don't want sex a lot lately, do you still love me ?''

Also i would mention that the amount of sex yall have doesn't measure the love you have for him.

You just shouldn't have sex under pressure though or because you feel you owed it, because you don't owe him sex. Hope this helps [Smile]

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cool87
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I already tried to explain the situation with him though. He just seems frustrated even though and I feel some pressure to do it because of that.

[ 06-07-2007, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Airem
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I know earlier you said he got frustrated when you said you were busy, but when you had this talk with him, was he frustrated then as well? If so what did he say? Sorry for all the questions i'm just trying to get a better feel of what his argument is. There really isn't one because the bottom line is if you don't feel like having sex thats that. Theres nothing wrong.

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Posts: 157 | From: Athens, Texas, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cool87
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Well, I haven't had a long talk with him. I just stopped him when he was sorta-like hinting at sex and told him I was busy. And his reaction to that was a bit of frustration and him trying again at another time and me resulting in feeling pressure.

Since we first had intercourse, he just want to to do it over and over again and I don't really want to again for the moment at least not when I'm stressed or very busy like that or it's going to be a total recipe for disaster, even more than it was last time.

I guess I'll have to have a talk with him, a longer talk and see where that goes, hoping he'll understand.

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