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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What do You Think?

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Author Topic: What do You Think?
isabella.the.insomniac
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Member # 34041

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Okay. Me and my best guy friend (we dated for over a year) have talked about having sex, among other things. We still love each other, he just doesn't want a relationship right now because he doesn't want to hurt me again. We might get together in the future, but now right now. I know he isn't saying he loves me because he wants sex that badly. I know him better then that, and he's not like that. We do still have feelings for each other. Also, we're not "promiscuous" - I was actually his first and only girlfriend.

I see no problem with having sex outside of a relationship as long as we truly care for one another, which we do, and as long as we're ready for it and act responsibly. We're both virgins and want to lose our virginity to each other. I couldn't imagine my first time being with anyone else.

I was just wondering what you guys thought of this. I'm going to do what I feel ready for, regardless, but it's still interesting to hear about your all's opinions.

-Isabella-

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"...There was nothing else left, nothing in the world but his fingers and the delirious incoherent frenzy of pure sensation they sent spiraling through me, as though I were an instrument vibrating with the exquisite hymns of the angels."

Posts: 62 | From: California | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pinkveins
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if you both want to what are you waiting for?
even if things go badly you're gonna be glad that you lost it to him because you guys are so close...dont do it with someone you dont trust and care for as much as him. i say go for it.

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you promised me heaven but put me through hell...
</3

Posts: 72 | From: illinois | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
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Sometimes sex can change a relationship (friendship or otherwise) ... have you two discussed this?

I'm a bit confused about him 'not wanting to hurt you' ... People can get hurt just as easily from being intimate w/ someone (eg, having sex) as they can from being in a long term, comitted relationship.

I'm not saying you need to be in a long term committed relationship for sex, AT ALL, but i think he's either not being totally honest w/ you or he hasn't fully examined his own motives for wanting to do this.

I would say before you go for this, you need to examine your own motives for wanting to do this. Will you be okay having sex w/ him knowing he may be going out with other women too? Do you think having sex with him might change his idea about wanting a comitted relationship w/ you?

You don't have to answer here ... Just some things to think about.

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
isabella.the.insomniac
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Member # 34041

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When he says he doesn't want to hurt me again, he means he doesn't want us breaking up again, if we were to get into a relationship. He wouldn't want to go through that himself, and he also wouldn't want me too. Yeah, I do know sexual intamacy can cause pain...but I think I'm willing to take that chance. I mean, things could possibly be a little weird afterwards, but I doubt it. We're so close. He's my best friend.

I don't think I'll have to worry about other women. He isn't most people's type...he's kind of hard to get to know. I don't know. I just don't think I'd have to worry about him dating other girls.

But thanks for the questions, I have to admit I didn't really think about those things at first.

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"...There was nothing else left, nothing in the world but his fingers and the delirious incoherent frenzy of pure sensation they sent spiraling through me, as though I were an instrument vibrating with the exquisite hymns of the angels."

Posts: 62 | From: California | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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