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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Our Bridge - Mend It or Burn It?

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Author Topic: Our Bridge - Mend It or Burn It?
Member # 33557

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Hello All,
I have had something bugging me for a
few months now. My girlfriend cheated on me
and had enough respect for me to tell me (her words, not mine).
If she had that much respect she wouldn't have cheated on me.

I'll give you the abridged version leading up to all of it here:

Quick Note: To this day she is the ONLY girl I have ever dated...
(Nice eh? [Frown] )

We met @ School in the 11th grade.

I went to prom with her 12th grade and started dating.

She went off and joined the National Guard
after graduation.(I FULLY supported her. I personally did not want to do that, but I loved her no less for it.)

Life is nice through the 1st semester in College.

She comes home for Christmas (Definitely on the top ten list of "Feel Good Moments" in my life @ the time.)

She returns to a different unit on another base.

Less than 2 months into it I get the usual
evening call. She said that she was no longer
a virgin. I was speechless for well over 5 minutes as she was "explaining".
I told her that I forgave her but could not be with her anymore.
She hung up crying and I broke
down for a few hours. The week after SUCKED.

Anyhow, It's now over 3 months later and I receive
a letter from her. She goes on and says that it
was the stupidest thing that she has ever done and
wishes she did not do it.

All of that bring me to now.

Here are a few of the questions I have for anyone who can relate to this in any way.
(I literally have no friends that I can talk to about this.)

-Should we try again?

-Was our long distance to blame?

-Should I even talk to her again?

-Should I have even been involved with her knowing
she was going into the Guard?

-If she can't keep her pants on after only 2 months of not seeing me what will happen when
she is several thousand miles away with soldiers who are away from their loved ones for a LONG time?
(Do the math...)

Just a few days before she was talking to me about

-Does anyone think she is rushing (from personal experience) noting the fact we have only spent
two or three months physically together?

The reason I am asking this is because we are attending the same college in the fall.
I'll be a sophomore and she'll be a freshman.
I'm thinking the letter was to try and get me to
talk to her so she can "approach" me again.
I recently saw her signing up for classes and I literally walked around the campus to avoid her.
(Smaller campus) I was a little late for class but I didn't care.

Thanks for any advice on this.

God knows I have no idea what to do... [Confused]


[ 05-21-2007, 01:34 AM: Message edited by: Janus ]

Posts: 6 | From: Not Important | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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I think you left out one important question: Do you WANT to have a relationship with her?

...cause it sounds to me like you're no longer interested in being in a relationship with her, and that your doubts are pretty valid. You're not obligated to take up with her again just because she's made an overture.

Posts: 3077 | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 33557

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That's where I am hitting the roadblock.
I have never had this happen to me before
and I wanted to know if after someone cheated
on you (the reader), did it work out? At this
point I have very little faith in her. Am
I being too pessimistic because she did at least
sound sincere?

Posts: 6 | From: Not Important | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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She could be lonely and desperate.

She doesn't seem very capable of being left alone. You went to the guard, and she cheats. I'm guessing right now she doesn't have anybody, and she's looking at you as an easy target.

I say proceed with caution.

LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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