Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » i need some advice on family issues

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: i need some advice on family issues
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I really need some advice on how to deal with this situation.

Everytime I see a diet beverage commerical on TV, I comment on how the artificial sweetner is really bad for you.

My mom's husband is always mocking me for it. I don't really take it to heart but generally, like any other person, I don't like being made fun of - especially when I know he does it to be mean to me. As you may or may not know from previous posts, this guy is verbally abusive to me. He has kept his mouth shut and hasn't yelled or tried to punish me [i haven't done anything anyway] in almost three months. He seems to be makiing progress?

So, I bring up to my mom the whole being made fun of deal. You know what she says to me?

"Maybe you should stop talking about things no one cares about. Then he wouldn't make fun of you. Why don't you try talking about something normal?"

How am I supposed to react to this?! I found that to be really, really harsh.

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
stormcold2
Neophyte
Member # 33874

Icon 1 posted      Profile for stormcold2     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok, why do you need to make the same comment every time? If you did that around my big family you would be teased all the time. I don't know your situation, but it sounds like maybe you might be over sensitive about it.


My philosophy is to think before I say something and then not worry about it if someone disagrees with me.

Posts: 3 | From: Washington | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's kind of like this.

Imagine someone who hits you all the time. Then this person playfully hits you. How would you feel about it, even if it's just a joke?

This guy is a raging jerk to me constantly. He's been verbally absuive to me in the past. So when he jokes with me, I still get offended.

I am WAY more annoyed by what my MOTHER said, not what he said. Really, this is mainly about my mom.

[ 05-17-2007, 05:43 PM: Message edited by: babybear ]

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Is your mom normally supportive when you go to her w/ complaints about him?

Having been in a much similar situation in the past, it was always about ME changing MY behaviour, not him ... And it pissed me off! I was the child ... And relationships are never a one-way street. For you two to get along, there will likely need to be compromises on either end. So ... I feel for you. I really do.

Have you told your mom that she hurt you by what she said? If not, you need to. If she IS supportive in fostering a healthy relationship b/w you and her partner, perhaps the three of you could sit down and talk about all of this.

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

Icon 1 posted      Profile for babybear     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
She really is not supportive. She says, exactly like you said, I need to change MY attitude.

I just told her at dinner she hurt me with what she said and she apologized. She also told him to back off at dinner. She did it in such a way that it wasn't obvious we just argued about it hours earlier. It helped.

You are exactly right, relationships are never a one-way street. It's not just about me, it's about him too! He is very immature, rude, arrogant, and obnoxious. He lacks respect for me, and even for my mother sometimes. I'm really convinced things aren't going to change. How many extremely heated arguments does it take - how many times do I have to be on the verge of moving out - before he changes? I wish we could sit down and talk about it, but I know he would shoot me down in an instant.


Thanks for your reply, it's nice to hear from someone who was in a similar situation =]

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Some people are just not willing to change ... Your moms partner may be one of these people.

If you really feel things aren't going to change, just try to avoid spending time w/ him (i'm sure you already do). It sucks, but it's better than wasting your breath on someone who isn't likely to listen anyway (be that your mom or her partner).

Good luck.

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3