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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » An ex, a crush & his drugs, and the fact they're friends.

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Author Topic: An ex, a crush & his drugs, and the fact they're friends.
Member # 33821

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I recently posted a topic trying to get over my ex. I think I am now. It's almost been two weeks. There's this other guy - his friend, actually, who I kind of like. The problem? One, he jokes a lot about sex, and we joke together about it - so I'm afraid he's a little too focused on it, and would get serious about it if I ever got into a relationship with him. He's also...doing marijuana, as far as I know, and drinks a little. He's only 15, will be 16 a day before me (September 23, my birthday). Another thing is, I just can't see myself...with some people. As in, I don't need an extra serious relationship, but it's weird to think of being very intimate with one person and switching gears to another. If any relationship blooms it won't be going on right now, because I'd like to hang out with him more. As far as my ex goes - they're friends so I would that work out? Also, the last time I talkd to my ex I told him right now even though he wants to be friend I really can't. Maybe next year, when I haven't seen him for a few months because of summer, but not right now. When I'm around him, and he even says anything, I don't even respond. He recently IMed me, which made me think. I'm guessing he was just bored...? I didn't care that much, but does that mean anything if he's disregarding the fact that I told him I don't really wanna be friends right now? That I want to take a break from each other?

I also kind of want to know - should you hold it against a person if their opinions about sex differs from yours? Or if they do drugs and you're very against it (especially at this age!) Also, do you think dating is okay just to mess around (not sexually) - just you know, try it out, if it doesn't work, okay?

[ 05-18-2007, 10:22 PM: Message edited by: katiebird ]

Posts: 90 | From: east | Registered: May 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I think there's a big difference between 'holding it against someone' and wanting to date someone, when it comes to differing views regarding sex. I wouldn't hold it against someone if they want to have sex and i don't ... But i'm not going to get into a relationship knowing someone wants/expects sex from a relationship when i'm not ready for that.

I would be VERY wary of getting involved w/ someone in this kind of trouble (this IS illegal, ya know). Doing drugs have always been a dealbreaker for me ... I've been upfront and honest w/ anyone who i've dated, and they can either take it or leave it.

Dating is actually about 'trying it out'. That is what casual dating is. It's totally okay, provided that is what you're both looking for.

Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Like BlueSmurf said, I would be very cautious about dating a drug user. My male friends that use marijuana often cheated on their girlfriends, even if they had been together for a long time. The same ended up being true for some of my female friends that use marijuana too. If he does anything more serious than that, I would definitely stay away from him. In my experience, guys that use heavy drugs (acid, speed, ridolin (sp?), etc.) are more likely to be abusive towards their partners.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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