Lately I've been feeling increasingly lonely. I don't really have anyone to talk to because all of my friends are the ones that I'm feeling lonely because of. So it would be cool of you guys to read this and just give me some opinions.
Well, I broke up with my boyfriend last Friday, and then on Sunday we got in a huge fight about our breakup and we decided not be friends anymore. We didn't talk at all on Monday although we saw each other, but then on Tuesday we made up and we hung out. At the end, when he took me to my bus stop and waited for my bus with me, he wanted me to kiss him on the cheek, so I did. He was being really flirty that whole day. So on Wednesday we hung out again, and he ended up coming over my house, and we hooked up. Did just about everything but sex, and it was a good day with him. We talked a lot about it afterwards and decided that it probably shouldn't have happened and stuff like that. We've been best friends for years and we didn't want to ruin it. Yesterday, we didn't really hang out alone, we just hung out with one of my friends that I used to be really close with. When we were waiting for our buses by ourselves, we ended up kissing, and it was just really nice and sweet. And today, we did more kissing and stuff. The thing that gets me is, he tells me he likes me ALL the time. And that's great, but I'm not sure how I feel about him anymore. I'm not sure if I want to set myself up to be hurt by him again, because the last time we got back together, he promised me that he would never leave me and he didn't want to let me go, and that we would make this work. But we broke up, and it still sort of stings that he wasn't able to keep the promises he made to me. So I'm confused on that.
Then, it's my friends. I have two really close friends (not counting my ex). Two are dating each other and are completely in love. The other one has a boyfriend, but he's a jerk and she sees him like once every two weeks and they have sex and then she doesn't see him for another two weeks. He lives in another city. I used to be best friends with her, but then I met my other friend, and we are way more compatible. We're best friends. It's just that, I feel so shut out all the time when she is with her boyfriend, which is ALL THE TIME! We're all in this group, and there's three who I'm pretty good friends with (I like one). They always make comments about them, but I never really noticed because I had my boyfriend. Now that he and I aren't together anymore, I'm really starting to notice it. The others don't really hang out as much with us, and I think it's because of my best friend and her boyfriend. I'm not really sure how to tell her that I feel really shut out sometimes.
I just feel like I don't really have friends anymore, just really lonely. The one person I'm hanging out with now is my ex. He's a very sweet guy, but I want this hooking up to go somewhere with us. I haven't told him but I will when I get a chance. He's been telling me he likes me and if that's true, then he should want to still be with me. And with me, its all or nothing. I don't want him to be thinking, "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?" And today sex came up in one of our conversations, and that is where I completely draw the line. Like, it was cool when we were together because we were both so completely and totally in love. But with all this uncertainty, it will just make things more complicated. Not to mention that I only want to have sex with someone who loves me and will make a commitment to me.
I'm sorry this was so long, I just had a lot to get off of my chest.
Posts: 97 | From: California | Registered: Feb 2007
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First off, so, so sorry your post got missed, I'll try to give you my honest opinions and I hope you're still around to read them.
First off, with your boyfriend...why exactly did you break up? You said you wanted a commitment and he broke some promises he made to you. You're still friends and things have been getting increasingly physical. What exactly do you want? You said you don't want to just be physically intimate without being in a relationship, but from what you're written, that's exactly where things are going.
Talk to your ex and let him know how you feel. If you keep getting involved with him physically yet it's not in a relationship like you want, you're setting yourself up for a world of hurt. If it's not what you know you want, don't do it. It may hurt a lot to say you want either to be in a relationship or you can't keep doing what you're doing, but in the long run you will know that you made the best and most healthy choice for yourself.
As for your friends, I don't know why it happens but I think we've all gone through phases in our friendships where we're closer at some times than at others. I think the best thing to do is try to re-connect. Do something you both enjoy together, whether it's just hanging out and talking or going to the movies/mall/park and talk about how you've been feeling like you guys have kind of drifted apart. If your friend doesn't seem to want to make an effort like you do, I think it might be time to re-evaluate why you're friends in the first place.
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