I just posted the topic about never having been kissed and I forgot to ask if anyone had any opinions on dating sites. If I am not meeting guys at school I was thinking of signing up somewhere like match.com but didn't know if I should. Does it seem kind of desperate for a 20 year old?
Posts: 11 | From: Texas | Registered: Apr 2007
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Well.. in answering this, do know that I'm likely biased, so take from it what you will.
Generally, I don't see online dating as a way "out" if one doesn't have a social life that involves real-life dating. Now, doubtless, it IS easier to get down to the nitty gritty and find out if someone is date-able before you waste your time with a face-to-face meeting. But that also has to come eventually, and in that case, in many ways it IS as stressful and poses many of the same problems you might find yourself facing right now.
Too, many people soon quit dating sites, and the main reason cited is repeated dates going badly. Mostly, the reason for this is inflated expectations -- as in, falling in deep like with someone on the 'Net, then meeting them in person and being pretty disappointed to find something unpleasant about the person, or that there is simply no physical chemistry, no matter how great one thought they'd hit it off. In that way, online dating can be even MORE stressful.
So, just as long as you're aware that dating can have the same pitfalls no matter the medium it's in, I'd say go for it. Best way to do it, in my opinion? Find someone local, and if you like what you hear, meet after only 2-3 emails. This way you learn enough about them that you feel cool with dating them yet still have plenty to learn face-to-face, plus it'll likely cut down on inflated hope.
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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You know, so long as you're safe and smart about it, I always enjoyed online dating.
Mind, I ended up meeting more friends and casual partners than people I actually dated that way -- there really is no accounting for physical cemistry until you meet someone -- and didn't meet the love of my life via online dating, but I did always enjoy it.
(Sparing that if you're female and bisexual, do yourself a favor and don't say that in your profile: the only people you'll hear from are generally pretty skeezy guys or bored couples -- even if you say those people should not contact you, I tried that way, too. Just post whatever sex/gender it is you're looking for.)
But there's nothing desparate about seeking out companionship, not for any age or any person.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 68006 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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Just a small note from someone who is maybe too cautious but have reasons to be ...
If you ever meet someone there hun that seems cool and wanna date him/her (whether it's through chat or dating sites), I strongly suggest you that you both set this date in a public place at FIRST. Because in some cases like mine, people can pretend they are someone they are not and you could easily find yourself in trouble and really unsafe and be a recipe for disaster.
Take it from someone who's been there.
For me, it turned out badly and I probably won't meet people from chat ever again but it sure can turn out great for some other people. We just can't generalize too much.
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