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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » OMG i can't believe him!

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Author Topic: OMG i can't believe him!
Stacii-Jayd
Neophyte
Member # 31433

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oh...my....god
i'm destroyed at the min over my stupid boyfriend!

last year my bestfriend told me that my boyfriend had been touching her up, putting his arms around her waist, touching her legs etc. i refussed to believe this because my boyfriend said it was rubbbish, and yeah, i believed everything he said because i loved him so much. and fell out big time with my bestfriend.

anyway this 'arguement' has been going on for a year now (yes me and my bestfriend did make up) anyway, my bestfriend brought this subject up today. and i because my boyfriend wasn't at school, i thought "yeah i will listen to her" so she told me all again. now a boy called lewis was there when this happen between my bf and bestfriend and he said it was all true.

i decided to confront my boyfriend about this after school on the phone. once again i got the "it's rubbish, she just wants to break us up" after listening to my firend and lewis i thought "no i don't believe you" so i said "this is your last chance to tell me the truth, because i do know the truth. if you lie it's going to be over" after saying this is confessed and said he did do all this to her.

i'm so destroyed, i love(d) him so freaking much, but i don't know what to do over it. i know this happened last year but it's the fact that he lied to me over it. it wouldn't been so bad if he said to me "yes, it's true, and i'm sorry" i'd talked to him about it and forgiven him...but after a year of lieing and making me fall out with my bestfriend it's just really bugging me
i don't blame any of this on my bestfriend.
i don't know what to do about this.
i really need advice, i'm seriously destoryed over this! [Frown]

sorry this is just an add on: i just remember that a month before me and my boyfriend dated he asked my bestfriend out, but she turned him down [Confused] did he still like her or something?

[ 04-24-2007, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Stacii-Jayd ]

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''i'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exsits. i'm not a slave to the world that doesn't give a s****''-Marilyn Manson

Posts: 35 | From: UK, Lincolnshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just want to say one thing: while certainly, what he did with your best friend and how he lied about it was terrible, HE did not make you fall out with your best friend. YOU chose to take his word over his, and to put your relationship with him above your relationship with her. He enabled it, for sure, but that choice was ultimately yours to make.

This -- just for a future life lesson -- is really one very good reason why we need to remember that trust is earned, and we can't trust someone just because we are in love with them. Trust takes time, and it's always a sage rule of thumb, to put those who have earend it, over time, ahead of those who have not when it comes to things like this.

To me, all I see as a doable thing is to get away from this guy. He lied to you for a year, knowing he was also isolating you from your closest friend in doing so, and also is someone who touches other people in a way they do not want. Doesn't sound like any sort of prize to me, this bloke.

I'd get out of this relationship and put your energy into healing things with your friend instead.

[ 04-24-2007, 02:34 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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