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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How long before you date?

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Author Topic: How long before you date?
katiebird
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This is probably an old topic, but I just can't find it? Or it's on page like 68.

How long do you wait before asking someone out? As in, do you date a friend, or date someone you've recently gotten to know?


For me, I can't see myself asking someone out I just met - I have to feel comfortable with them, so they really have to be a friend before I ask them out. That way, I know them, but I can get to know them even better and become better "friends" and while it'll be weird when the break up DOES come around, like I said, I can't see going out with someone casually I don't really know.

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DarkChild717
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For me, I didn't start a relationship with my Fiance for about 10 months after we me--but that's because it took him five months to call the first time, then another four months for the second call. [Smile]

After that, the calls were like clockwork, and we've been together ever since.

So, really, I didn't "date" him until I got to know him a bit.

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Nailo
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Definitely, I'd say date a friend. Being friends first makes all the trust and chemistry thing work better, in my opinion. I knew my boyfriend for about a year as friends before we started dating, and it's worked wonderfully.

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"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

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Leabug
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My partner and I first met in grade 9- initially we actually couldn't stand each other, ironically! We used to fight like crazy on ICQ and then MSN back in grades 9 and 10. Then, after we both kinda grew up a little due to situations we both went through, we ended up becoming pretty good friends and confidantes. After a couple years of friendship, he confessed to being interested in me in grade 12. We've been together since 2002.

Just goes to show how much people can really change during their high school years, eh??

Personally, I'd much rather date a friend. I like that you can kind of gauge where the person's values and priorities lie, and see if they match up with yours, which is a really important thing for any potential relationship. That, and I'm really shy around strangers! [Wink]

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Lea

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poppybluefrogs
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My partner and i have been at the same high school for 7 years and only got to know each other properly in sixth year. We'd known of each other for the two years previously, and i thought he was the biggest geek and he just thought i was mental. But we decided to sit together in history last year and became good friends and then after a friend of ours killed herself in october we got closer and started dating three months ago.

My ex on the other hand was not someone i was really friends with before we dated. I just really liked him from a distance and when he asked me out i said yes. We were together for three years but from the start it was obvious it just wasn't right for us.

Being friends with my current partner first helped me to see that i could trust him. So i agree with leabug, i'd much rather date a friend than someone i dont know. Not only do you know where each other stands on certain issues, you probably match up personality wise and will probably find it easier to talk to each other too.

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babygurl2285
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I would much rather date someone I've been friends with for awhile because at least then you will know their personalities and, depending on how close of friends you are, what they expect in a relationship. If you just jump in a relationship with someone you don't really know, how will you know whether you both value the same things, share any interests, or can stand to be with each other.

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Posts: 27 | From: Tennessee, USA | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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