I need help. I just started going to college last year and it's like all my close relationships are going away. My best friend is changing into a completely different person, probably since she is more dedicated to school and her future career and so are my friends. If they are not obsessed with college work, they are in a great relationship and obsessed with it at the moment. I feel odd though because it's like all my old friendships are slipping through my fingers and the people at my college are older and have families so they don't care about friends and I don't have any real relationships unless you consider fooling around with a guy one. I feel so lost. How can I make more friends and find relationships with guys. I am always nice to people but it's like I am too formal or something. I hate to say it but it's like I am socially retarded, aka shy. How can I build more relationships!?
Posts: 198 | From: Ca, USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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I definately understand where you're coming from, lil_kiwi. Unfortunately, sometimes people change and drift apart when social situations change, such as making the transition from high school to college. Are you making an effort to keep in touch with those friends? (I know it can suck when it seems like they have something that takes priority over your friendship, but I've always found that perseverance does pay- people will usually get over the thrall of a new relationship after a while, for example. )
The good thing is, while college often leaves MANY people feeling alone, there are lots of opportunities to meet people, too. Why not see if there's a club or group at your college that you'd like to join, or something you could volunteer for, or attend a college event? I know it's hard when you're shy (believe me I know, I'm horribly shy myself!), but it can really lead to good friendships with like-minded people.
As for finding relationships, it seems to me that the best thing to do is simply focus on finding friendship. Often people find that relationships can spring from a casual friendship, and if you're shy, that's often easier than simply approaching an attractive person and hitting on them
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