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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Terrible Breakup

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Author Topic: Terrible Breakup
luvinhp89
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So my boyfriend of 18 months and I just split up this past Saturday. He broke up with me. He said he had gotten tired of the fighting. We had been having problems lately but I never expected it to end so soon. He was leaving for the Marines in June and had recently asked me to marry him. This breakup came as a big shock. Two days later, after school on Monday, I found out he was actually into another girl. That turned out to be most of the reason why he dumped me. I'm shocked out ofmy mind. I can't believe he'd do this to me after everything we'd been through. The past 2 or 3 months had been the happiest of my life, and I thought it was the same with him. He and I spent so much time together and we were talking about marriage and children. I know we're young (17 and 18) but I loved him with everything.

My world has just fallen apart. We've agreed to be friends. He was the one that said even if he couldn't be with me as a couple he wanted to be my friend but now in school he ignores me. He won't even speak to me in lunch or in class. However, if we're outside of school alone or on the phone, he talks to me normally and happy. I feel like he's giving me mixed signals. He knows the girl he originally dumped me for doesn't like him, and I'm afraid he's just trying to get back on my good side. I really need advice.

I can't eat or sleep, and I'm a constant emotional wreck. I know taking time and space apart would do us both good (which is what he wants - "lots of space") but I just can't seem to do it. It hurts me heart more to not talk to him or see him. Even though I know he still cares about me, I can't help but imagine that a certain look he gives me or when he sits close to me he wants me back. Please help!

Posts: 95 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
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Aww, honey, that's terrible. The only thing that really heals breakups is time, and until time passes, you're just going to need a lot of distraction in the form of friends, family, and other things to do.

It's certainly positive when both people in a breakup want to be friends, but maybe right now the two of you CAN'T be friends since the breakup is just too new and also since he seems to be sending you mixed signals. It might be better if you just agreed not to talk to each other at all for a while, until you've both got your heads on straight.

It is hard, but I know that you can get through this. What other good things in your life do you have to look forward to? What interesting things can you do with your life?

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allyice11
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I'm so sorry girl, that must be a horrible thing to go through. I can relate with you all the way, I went through a very bad break up a couple of years ago. I thought I would never get through it, and though it feels like you won't, time does heal everything.
What you need to do is avoid this guy as much as you can. Surround yourself by friends, make new ones. Bitch about him to them, and they'll comfort you.
I'm here too if you would like someone to talk to.

--------------------
- a

Posts: 8 | From: Australia | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
luvinhp89
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Thanks you guys. It's been almost a week and it is still really hard. He keeps giving me more mixed signals. I went over to his house yesterday to talk to him and we layed down in bed together and kissed and held each other but as soon as I mentioned getting back together he flipped out. I feel almost as if I'm just being used.

Do you have any advice on how to ignore someone you care about so deeply? I've deleted him from my cell phone and taken down pictures but I live in such a small town that I see him often and even if I don't see him I see his friends and they glare at me and whisper things behind my back. I'm going out of my mind.

Please help. Thanks.

Posts: 95 | From: Virginia | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hayspins
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I am currently going through this as well. My ex and i broke up in december/january it was a christmas/new years break up. He wanted his space to do what he could do. THen after about 2 or 3 months he decided he wanted to hang out again. But now when we hang out he is fine ... and then turns into a royal u know what. Right now he is going on a week of not talking to me. I am trying to let him do what he wants.. but all i want to do is talk to him. So trust me, you just have to hang in there and have hope and distract yourself!
Posts: 65 | From: Edwardsville, IL, USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ae555
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well quite frankly he doesnt deserve someone like you =] ive been led on plenty of times and now my relationship is going great! Keep looking for the right guy though..not all of us are pigs
Posts: 14 | From: southeast | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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