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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » i want to move

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Author Topic: i want to move
Initreece
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Member # 33321

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ive been living with my mum for the whole 12 years of my life and on my little brothers birthday 2 years ago my mum kicked my dad out of our house, now he lives in a different house than me and me and my brother only see him about 1 hour a day and i want to move in with my dad but i cant say this to my mum because my mum will think i dont love her anymore and dont want her to be in my life so i was just wondering if i should tell my mum and dad this or i should just leave it.

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"They talk **** about me because I'm different, so I talk **** about them because they're all the same"
Real men wear PINK!

Posts: 23 | From: Sheffield, England | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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What is the custody situation in your house right now?

One thing that's always tough to deal with with a situation like this is that more often than not, as youth, we really don't know the whole of why our parents split up. For all you know, there may be a solid reason your mother kicked your Dad out that you just don't know about. So, it might be worth your while to ask some more questions about it, and try and address why you're so unhappy in your current house before looking to a more extreme solution.

You might also simply want to talk to your Mom and your Dad about being able to see your father more often, such as arranging weekends together: and that way, you can also feel out a bit of what living with your Dad right now would even be like so that you have a better idea of what the choices at hand really are.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Initreece
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Member # 33321

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well my dad is supposed to see me at the weekends and take me out eg. the park, the movies but hes got this new job and that means i dont see him at the weekends and i cant talk to them about it because they are always buzy but if i can ill try and talk to them about it.

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"They talk **** about me because I'm different, so I talk **** about them because they're all the same"
Real men wear PINK!

Posts: 23 | From: Sheffield, England | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Sounds like you should.

One tough thing, too, is that it may well be that your Dad isn't even open to being a full-time parent (for any number of reasons - it's pretty rarely ever as simple as a parent simply not liking you or wanting you around), so it's vital when condiering moves like this that everyone is appraised of what you're thinking about, otherwise you can get all invested in something that isn't even an option.

If weekends aren't working right now for your Dad, maybe you all can talk about one weeknight a week where you can see him and stay over?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Initreece
Neophyte
Member # 33321

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yeah ill try that, thanks for your help Heather

--------------------
"They talk **** about me because I'm different, so I talk **** about them because they're all the same"
Real men wear PINK!

Posts: 23 | From: Sheffield, England | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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