I really wanted to go to a movie tonight so I texted my friend at around 7 to ask if she wanted to go. She didnít really answer so I asked another friend and she said she didnít know yet. At around 9 (the movie was at 10ish and you have to get there early) the first friend texted me saying she was going to the secondís house to go to the movie. I got annoyed that neither had bothered to let me know that they had both decided to go until almost too late when they were leaving, even though I asked them hours before. I told them that I wasnít going to even go and that I felt bad for always having to invite myself to do things. They called me a bunch of times after that and sent me text saying "come come!" and I didnít pick up or answer. I donít know what the deal is. I feel like I am always asking to do things with them, when just a few months ago they would call me all the time and complain that they never saw me. Should I work on distancing myself from them? Should I say anything? It is depressing for me to feel like people don't care about me.
Posts: 35 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Well, it's hard to really give an opinion based on this one incident, but sometimes things just get screwed up while making plans.
It doesn't necessarily mean that your friends don't want to include you; they may simply just be bad at planning things (like my friends are! ).
But if you do feel like they're excluding you, it really won't help to do things like ask them to see a movie, then refuse to answer your phone after something goes wrong. They did want you to come; they wouldn't have insisted if they wanted otherwise. It's a little unfair to lay such a guilt trip on them, based on your description of the situation. Things like your reaction can actually push people away, because it's hard to deal with.
Honestly, I don't know if you have to distance yourself from them- it doesn't really sound as if they've done much wrong. But perhaps you guys should work on communication- such as making sure everyone knows the plans for a night- and perhaps it would help to try and be a little more forgiving of your friends. After all, they DID inform you of the plans with enough time to get to the movie- some people are just procrastinators.
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