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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » boyfriend acting strangely

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Author Topic: boyfriend acting strangely
Member # 31041

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I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 5 months, and we've never fought, ever. Sure, we don't agree on everything, but we don't get in stupid fights about pointless things; basically everything in the relationship has been great.

But just recently, I don't know what it is, especially yesterday and today. And I know two days is like, not a big deal, but I was just wondering if anyone had any thoughts on what it might be.

He's been really really quiet, and when I try and talk to him, he's short and concise. Not mean, never yells .. just different. Finally I just asked him what was wrong, but he's like I don't know, I just don't feel good. I'm like, sick or depressed? And he said kinda depressed. At school I thought it was just being tired and such, but as they day would go on it would get worse; he looked like he was about to kill someone today. Whenever I say something he barely responds. I've talked to him because I wondered if he was mad at me, [even though he didn't have a reason to be] and he was like oh no, so I know it's not me. But if it's not me than why do I have to suffer for it. God he's so moody right now I swear to God he's PMSing or something. Anyways, it's just little things, like when I hug him he doesn't really hug me back, he hasn't kissed me in a couple days and didn't hold my hand like he usually does. He's SO moody!!! I thought it might be stress from basketball because tryouts were this week but he made the team he should be HAPPY and instead it's like its making him angrier ... I just don't really know whats going on.

At the end of the day I was so fed up at school I just grabbed my books and was like, I have to go. He gave me a look like "is something wrong?" look and so I think he got the message that he was getting annoying, but then he gave me a big hug, so it's just all weird.

I feel like I might be overreacting, but anyone have any thoughts as to why he's like this? It's more annoying than anything.

Not really sure why I posted this, it's just my rant. Thanks for reading [Smile]

Posts: 25 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 22484

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Hey there!

Sometimes I have this problem with my boyfriend as well. And my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years now.

What it is sometimes is that, you know, if you've been seeing each other a lot, it can get stressful for you or your partner because it can feel like you or your partner don't get enough "you time", time where you can both be your own person.

Also relationships aren't always rainbows and butterflies. A good relationship takes a lot of work, and has its ups and downs. Its totally normal.

What I suggest is this:

Just give your boyfriend some time.. he may eventually come around and tell you whats wrong. Or maybe he just wants some space, and have time to do guy things or something. But whatever the case may be, make sure you make it known to him that you are always there if he ever needs you, to talk or whatever

Also he may be stressed, even though he did make the team. He might be stressed out that he won't have enough time to do other things he likes, or homework... and studying etc..

Let me know if this helps you at all. And if you want anymore help, feel free to post back and I will gladly help. I've been in this situation many times before in the past couple of years, so I can help if you want. If theres anything I forgot to mention, or you wanna talk more, I'll be checking back here.

Hope this helps!

--the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return--

Posts: 133 | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31041

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That's just it though, we haven't been seeing a lot of each other lately. The last time we were together as us was last Friday, and we weren't even alone for most of the time. I understand what you were saying about seeing too much of each other, but we haven't.

I definitely understand what you are saying about school, homework, the basketball team, etc. He's not the best student if you know what I mean, and I'm sure that's really stressful. But I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situatoin. He's pulling back from me, and I know that if I keep pushing forward it's only going to make things worse. But this is the first time this has happened, and I can't just sit around and do nothing. I don't know what I'm supposed to do! Act like nothing's wrong, or just leave him alone until he comes around, and how long is that going to take? Plus it's hard for me, because I don't want to just leave him alone, because I care about him, so that's hard for me.

I'm just so frustrated right now I don't know what to do.

Posts: 25 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Have you yet just wasked him what HE feels like he needs right now; what he thinks are the best ways you can help him?

If not, I'd suggest starting there. Maybe he needs some time to himself. Maybe he needs you to really try and be more of a friend than a girlfriend right now. Maybe he just needs not to talk about what's up with him; maybe he needs TO talk about it

But the best person to know what he needs is him, and a partner just making clear that in a crisis time, they can put their needs aside for a bit to help you with yours is often a big help all by itself.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31041

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I was a little upset when I wrote that, if you couldn't tell, due to the fact that when I was talking to him on the phone it seemed like he didn't want to see me. Shortly after he called back and then came over and was completely and totally normal, and apoligized for acting weird and stuff, and we talked about it, so I think I understand where he was coming from and everything, and if you couldn't tell I am now in a very good mood! Thanks for all the advice!
Posts: 25 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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