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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » he said he loved..!! (really long)

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Author Topic: he said he loved..!! (really long)
Stacii-Jayd
Neophyte
Member # 31433

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oh my god, i'm so freaking crushed up about this.
ok so a year ago i made friends with a guy called michael..who became my bestmate over time..
his 22 now but i met him when he was 21and i'm 14 now. anyway we got on extremely well, and i told him everyting and he told mee everything. one day i wanted to tell him i had feelings for him..and i mean feelings, it asn't just a 5min crush either..(i had a crush on him for nearly a whole year) so i told him..and to my surprised he said he liked me too even though it was wrong. anyway so we stayed relly goodfriend, but we'd mess about and flirt and stuff like that...
this is where problems started, he promised me so many things like when i'm 17 he said we'd be together and he'd show me why life would be without all the pain i had, and i believed him..he also said many other things and i put my full trust in him, the first time i'd ever did that.... he then broke my heart and got himself a gurlfriend i was deadly upset over this, not only coz he got a gf..but he basically ingored me. them two split up wthin 3months and then he said he was sorry over that and was all goodmates gain with me.
few months after that he moved to blackpool to go do his dream job. and i was ahppy for him, even though i cried everyday for 6weeks as i missed him and loved him so much.
for first 2months he rang me every night to see how i was, how my day went, and he say i was still here for me... after 2months he basically started to forget about me..he got a gf again...and again, his ingoreing me. i'm seriously crushed by this and told him i hate him and never want to speak to him again, deleteing him from my fone, msn, his pics..i even ripped up the valentine card he gave me last year.
what gets me the most is he is my life, i trusted him with my life, he was my life and i still love him, i can't get over him though, but i'm not having him useing me and lieing to me again..
i need advice over all this, plus i'm sneeking back into suicidal depression...and i really don't want to go there again.
i have no one to tlk to over this.

[ 11-18-2006, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: stacey-jade ]

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''i'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exsits. i'm not a slave to the world that doesn't give a s****''-Marilyn Manson

Posts: 35 | From: UK, Lincolnshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stacii-Jayd
Neophyte
Member # 31433

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sorry about all the crappy typing..my keyobrd had broke (stupid thing)

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''i'm not a slave to a god that doesn't exsits. i'm not a slave to the world that doesn't give a s****''-Marilyn Manson

Posts: 35 | From: UK, Lincolnshire | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Howabout your first put away any self-loathing about this?

In other words, this isn't about you doing anything wrong. This is about someone WAY older than you who -- unless he's simply utterly unintelligent -- had to have known how hard someone crushes at your age and how little someone in that space generally knows about how these things can go. Probably, he enjoyed the attention, which isn't something terrible to do, but when you know you're in a very different space than the person giving you that attention, a thoughtful, caring person will be a lot more self-aware and be sure that they're not taking that less-experienced person for a ride.

On the other hand, it's often hard to tell the difference between what one person says and the other person hears: it's possible you were mistaking supportive interest for romantic interest. Also not your fault: it takes some experience to figure this stuff out.

This is one reason why it's often a good idea to kind of have the people we invest a lot into be at the same or a similar level to where we are. Thirs-party, it's very hard to suss out what happened here, but one thing that is obvious is that where his life is at and where yours is at are very different places: when your adult life really starts to come together, you go there, you know?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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