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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How do I tell him?

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Author Topic: How do I tell him?
Member # 31443

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I've been dating this guy for like three weeks. The first night we met we had sex. The thing is, that was also the first time I had sex..ever. I don't regret it in the least and I'mdating him now and things are great.

I just I KNOW I should tell him I was a virgin. I just don't know how to. I know he'll be upset, but only becasue if he had known he would have gone about things differently. So uh.. a litle help?

ANd I'm totally fine with how it all went down. To is sex..and I wasn't emotionally efected by the whole thing. It was bound to happen and I'm just glad it happened with him, becasue he's a great guy.

Posts: 2 | From: Michigan | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29292

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That night you first had sex with this guy, did he asked you and you told him you were not a virgin when in fact you were or did you simply both didn't talk about your previous experiences with sex ?

Honesty is something really important in a relationship and I think it's great that even if you didn't tell him when this was the most appropriate time to tell him, that you've decided at least to tell him now. Good move !

Since I don't know whether or not you hide the fact the you were a virgin to him or simply didn't had to chance to tell him, I'll give you two ways as to how I'd tell him that were it me depending on what situation applies.

If I had lied to him, I would simply tell him that I need to talk to him about a particular thing and I would go : You remember the first night we had sex together ? Well, I haven't been completly honest with you in saying that I wasn't a virgin. In fact, I was. It was the first time I had sex with a partner. I didn't want to tell you that because..... .( and go on if you want to tell him that) I know it's a little late to say it now but it's been bugging me ever since. I hope you don't feel too bad about the fact that I hide it to you. I'm really sorry to have acted the way I did and I promise to be honest with you from now on.

If you simply didn't tell him but you didn't lie either, here's what I would say. I'd say something like :I'd like to tell you something because I think you deserve the right to know. The first time we had sex, we didn't really talked about our past experiences and there's something important I should have told you then even though. This was my first time. I know this is a little too late now to tell you that now but I tought you would maybe like to know. But you know everything went right and it was great and I don't ever regret it.

That's how I would particularly address this situation. Hope it helps you a little. [Smile]

[ 11-11-2006, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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Posts: 3598 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31443

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I didn't lie. I just didn't tell him. But thank you that helps a lot.
Posts: 2 | From: Michigan | Registered: Nov 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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