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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » cheating bf or not?

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Author Topic: cheating bf or not?
melissa1506
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I need some advice I been with my bf almost a year , I never had a reason not 2 trust him or anything like that. I would never ask to c his cell phone or ask whose calling never even thought anything of it until recently. Recently I noticed that no matter where my bf goes he takes his phone with him even into the bathroom! the ringer is always on silent, and if he does leave it in the room he always keeps it face down!. i think he is hiding something. I dont know if i should approach him? and he might confuse me questioning this as him cheating? but he never did this before and all of a sudden now I really noticed this alot latley he will never leave the phone if hes not in the room with it, and im not the type of person 2 ever once pick up his phone i never wanted to even look it was none of my business but now he has been so weird with it i actually noticed this. what do you think is going on here? .......
Posts: 88 | From: ny | Registered: Oct 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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It's even more impossible for us to tell what's going on than you, since we really don't know this guy as well as you.

It's entirely possible that nothing's going on at all; private communications seperate from a partner aren't a reason to wave a flag.

The only way to get a glimpse of what may be going on would be to ask him about it, without being accusatory. Why not try saying something like "Hey, I noticed that you keep your cell with you a lot, and (insert other behavior here). What's going on?"

If you get an all-clear call from him, your only option will have to be to take him at his word -- until (and if) you find some more tangible evidence of shadiness somewhere down the line.

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melissa1506
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thnx 4 the advice, i just didnt want to go in and accuse him of anything like cheating b/c like in a yr this thought never crossed my mind till now b/c all of a sudden whereever he goes so does the cell phone, even to go 2 the bathroom its just so weird, he didnt do that all year why now? makes no sense!
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KittenGoddess
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Just to toss out another possibility/perspective:
My cell phone never leaves me. If I somehow accidentally leave it at home, I'll turn around & drive back to get it. I even leave it on at night and will often answer even if it's ringing at 3am. Yes, it even goes into the bathroom with me most of the time. Why, you ask? Because I'm afraid of being without it. Several years ago, someone I love very much nearly died in an accident and I'm afraid of getting another call like that...but I'm even more afraid of something happening and somebody not being able to get ahold of me in a similar time of emergency.

So do remember, it is entirely possible that your boyfriend's behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with you or with hiding something of a romantic/cheating nature. There are lots of other things going on in people's lives that cause them to behave in ways that we perceive as strange, but really make perfect sense to them. Could be a fear, or it could even be a simple habit that he's picked up and doesn't even think anything of! If you're curious, it's cool to ask him about what the deal is.

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Sarah Liz

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September
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Speaking of reasons for that kind of behaviour:
My cell phone is always set to 'silent'. Nothing sininster about it. Just the fact that I have a horrible memory and have, more than once, been that annoying person whose cellphone started ringing loudly in the middle of a lecture. So I just keep it on 'silent' at all times because I just can't be bothered to keep switching back and forth.

So I second KittenGoddess - if you're curious about his behaviour, just ask him about it.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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melissa1506
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hey i approached my bf 2day about the phone situation he said he didnt even realize he was doing this, but for some reason my gut just dont believe this, is this wrong of me? and he always calls me and answers my calls now today its been 2 hrs and not answering me, hes being so shady waht is going onhere
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-Lauren-
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We couldn't tell ya, Melissa.

It could be that he's just busy today for whatever reason; it could be because he's clammed up after you asked him about his habits. The only way to know is to ask.

If you're really having a gut feeling that something just isn't right, ask him outright where he sees the relationship going. From there you can choose to keep going as is and work on your communication skills and sense of trust, or hit the road.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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