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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » so confused about boyfriend

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Author Topic: so confused about boyfriend
Member # 21227

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My boyfriend and I have been together for about 14 months. We've had so many problems in the past and I find it harder and harder to let go and just be happy. He did drugs behind my back and proceeded to lie to me about them for 9 months (while all the while I believe he was clean because he swore to me that he was.) He gets angry when I ask him why he did those things to me. I know I ask a lot but the only answer I ever receive from him is "I don't know." I get so frustrated and I ask a thousand times because I believe I deserve an answer. He never has one.

He is a very jealous person. I was talking to two guys this past summer (both of whom did drugs, but I had only hung out with them in a group once and certainly didn't do anything with them.) He demanded that I call them and tell them that I couldn't be their friends or else he would break up with me. I agreed to this and told the guys. I then asked him to stop hanging out in person with his "best friend" who did drugs (and also called me a bitch and whore over the internet). He told me flat out that he wasn't going to stop hanging out with them and that if I didn't trust him that was my problem.

He is such a sweet guy sometimes but I swear the longer we're together the more I wonder what I'm getting myself into. I love him to death and I want to be with him but I have such a problem letting go of all of the things he'd done to me...Is it my fault for clinging to the past?

I've tried breaking up with him but he just cries and says he can't live without me and that he needs me in his life. He promises he'll change and treat me better but I swear as soon as we're back together he starts treating me like dirt. I feel like I want to rip out my hair so much of the time. I should be happy...

Does anyone have any advice before I go insane...please...thank you.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 30201

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Well I have to say, as far as people who post on these boards go, I think you've done a pretty good job of answering your own question. It sounds to me like you really do sort of want to break up with him, and that that would be the right thing to do.

If he needs you in your life, you guys can be friends. But it sounds like he needs to get his own life together before he starts putting his baggage on a girlfriend.

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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