I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 3 weeks and I think our relationship is just fine, but sometimes we just got nothing to talk about and nothing to do. For example, these few days we've been just going to the same place and sitting there, talking minimumly. I had a crush on her for about two years until I finally got the nerve to ask her out and she said yes. Both of us are a little relationship scared because this is our first one. I guess what I'm trying to ask is that 1) Is there something wrong with our relationship in that sometimes we have nothing to talk about and nothing to do? Or do we just need to get a life (-_-). It's pretty confusing i guess. 2) Does this show that this relationship is not love?. Thanks for any feedback!
-------------------- I'm just so confused about life. But I'll experience it I guess. Posts: 11 | From: NYC | Registered: Jun 2006
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I'd say after only three weeks you're still in the getting-to-know-you phase. That means you haven't had time to establish what both of you are really passionate about or what you might like to do together that's unique to the two of you. It also means you have plenty of time to work that stuff out.
As for your question about love, I think love is something that develops with time. Just because you have an awkward silence or two now or neither of you want to watch another movie doesn't mean you won't grow to have a fabulous relationship. On the other side, you can really enjoy someone's company without being in love with them. What your relationship will turn out to be is something you'll discover with time.
I guess the gist of my advice is to be patient but continue to try to get to know one another and develop your relationship.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001
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I had the same problem with my boyfriend when we first started going out. Your situation might be a little different because it was my first relationship and not his first. You guys are probably just getting used to each other and it may take some time. I mean, I was always afraid to talk to my boyfriend alone for the first couple of weeks because I was scared that we wouldn't have anything to talk about. During lunch we would just sit there and never have anything to say to eachother. I couldn't even call him on the phone by myself! I always had a friend on the line with me.
My advice is that maybe you and your girlfriend should try hanging out with friends, but together. It helps you be more comfortable with one another and really helps with the lack of conversation. Give it some time and hopefully you and her will become closer in the process.
Make sure you ask her if she wouldn't mind hanging out with friends first, though. I hope it'll work out for you as it did with me (I can't seem to ever stop talking with my boyfriend now). Oh and you may want to talk to her about it. Be honest with eachother. I remember that I asked my boyfriend if he wouldn't mind that our first couple of dates could be with friends so that I would feel more comfortable, and he agreed. Just try talking to her about it.
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