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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » should i be honest?

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Author Topic: should i be honest?
Rachelisme
Neophyte
Member # 29623

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My parents are always asking me about my boyfriend and if i let him kiss me with toungue, let him touch me, sex, and other stuff. I always reply to them in a innocent way to make them beleive me and my boyfriend who i have been going out with for more than a year and a half are just in a cute little highschool relashonship *me and him are both in grade 9*, i deny everything they say outta plain fear, haha.
Me and my boyfriend see eachother almost everyday which involves lots of talking, making out, oral and handjobs, we have been talking about sex alot and we keep getting really close to it, but i will spare further details. We just wont have sex because i guess we are both still scared of what will happen if he gets me pregnant even with a condom and i want to get birthcontrol pills, how do i get them without my parents finding out and should i tell them about what is going on between me and my relashonship? Im am very worried that if we do have sex and something goes wrong and i have to confront my parents, i wouldnt be able to do it, its not that my parents are catholic or anything, but id rather keep that reason to myself *dont worry, it isnt anything terrible, lmao* [Razz] i mean, today me and him where both naked in his bed makig out and then we stopped and he was like, should i get the condom? and i was like, nah. I s a condom safe enough, or should i get birthconrol first?

very sorry to yap your head off [Frown]

Posts: 12 | From: Gatineau | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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We're pretty big on talking to your parents about sex. I'm fairly sure that they'd like to know what they can do to help you stay safe and healthy BEFORE you possibly come to them pregnant or sick. Think how upset they would be then!

Have you reviewed the handy-dandy Sex Readiness Checklist ? That would be a great place to start, not to mention a good place to visit with your partner.

Your parents don't sound too unreasonable when it comes to these things, but if you really think that you can't talk to them, you can visit a Planned Parenthood clinic to obtain a birth control method and get screened for STI's.

Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Rachelisme
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Thanks, im still a bit worried and i just think i havent been able to go through with it because i feel somewhat ashamed...i know that must sound stupid though, lol.
Posts: 12 | From: Gatineau | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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Not at all. Talking to your parents about these things is scary, believe me. They'll likely be taken aback a little, maybe shocked and angry, but in the long run, they'll be glad to know.

It really is a lot easier that way, especially if you rely on their insurance for most of your medical care. Public clinics and family planning centers have a somewhat limited scope of services offered, not to mention they may still cost you money out of pocket that you may not have at your age.

Why not read that list over with your partner, and arrange to have him with you when you talk to your parents?

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Rachelisme
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thanks alot, this has helped, although im still gonna b thinking about this.
Posts: 12 | From: Gatineau | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nailo
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Just one thing. No matter what anyone says, I am of the opinion that if you don't want to tell your parents for your own reasons, you shouldn't feel forced to. Only do so when you're ready to do so. Of course, if you're paranoid about them finding out, then maybe you should just tell them and get it over with. Thing is, you don't seem to comfortable with them asking about that part of your relationship. I personally don't think it's right that they ask the exact extent of your physical relationship. It's not their business to know whether you and your boyfriend have "touched each other". It's not like you ask them how their sex life is. It would be their business if they were in charged of protecting you (ie, helping you get birthcontrol or get tested for STDs) or if they needed to help you in case of an emergency. But why do they need to know if you kiss your boyfriend with tongue or not? If you don't like them asking these types of questions, by all means tell them not to.

--------------------
"Love does not make itself in the desire for copulation, but in the desire for shared sleep." - The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera

Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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I think you've been given great advice about your parents so I just wanted to toss in some information about being sexually active. I actually have a ton of articles that I think are relevant but this one seems to actually answer your questions: Safe, Sound & Sexy : A Safer Sex How-To

Of course I'm going to link the others as well. [Smile]
First Intercourse 101
Sexual Response and Orgasm: A User's Guide
A Simple Condom Primer
Is that all there is? A memoir of first time sex 17 years in the making
Margaret Sanger’s Disneyland: An easy chart of your birth control options

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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