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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » what do I do???

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Author Topic: what do I do???
Member # 28588

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Okay, I have a serious problem and I need some quick advise... Andrew, sweet idiot that he is, broke his ankle. This morning. Playing basketball with friends. He is at his parents and they live about 2 hours away from me. (Well, he's at the hospital right by his parents house.) Anyways, I realllllly want to go be with him right now, but his parents... umm, they don't know we're together, because we aren't "official" or what have you. We are good friends, and roommates, though, so... do you think it would be awkward for me to show up?

Also, two of our other roomies are getting married to each other on Saturday, rehersal's Friday night. He doesn't think he's going to be able to come to the wedding anymore, which is kinda a problem because we're both standing up in the wedding. Ugh! I just don't know what to do right now!!! Can someone please calm me down or give me advise on what to do?

They figure he'll prolly need to have surgery tomorrow, and I have class, but I could miss (I never do, so it wouldn't be a super big deal, plus my prof's reallly understanding). Should I go? I'd really like to be there for him. And, he did call me before he called his dad. So... do you think that means he wants me there too? He won't ask me to come EVER because he knows I have class and would never ask me to miss, but I think he might really like it if I were there.


Posts: 175 | From: Midwest US | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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You're his friend: of course it would be appropriate for you to be concerned and show up for him. If you feel that you can make up whatever is missed in class, that's your call to make, too. But I'm sure he'd appreciate you being there.

As for the wedding, that'll still be your call to make. He probably can't stand, seeing as he's broken an ankle, but you can. Just a thought--people don't get married every day. In theory, it's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. You'll be without him for a day, but they need you too.

Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28588

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Yeah, I think I'm going to head out there tonight. I had a meeting that I just got out of and another one in an hour, but I'm leaving once those are done. I just don't quite know what I'm going to say to his mom yet... I guess I have the ride to mull it over in my head.
I would NEVER skip the wedding (unless, of course, I broke MY ankle too). I just wish that he could be there too. We were both really excited about it and it was going to be so much fun and now he's missing it and I feel bad. I wish he wasn't like 3 hrs away from where they're getting married. I'd sooo steal him from the hospital! [Smile]


Posts: 175 | From: Midwest US | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 28588

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So... I called him to tell him that I planned on coming out to be with him, and he told me to stay here. He reallly does NOT want me to miss my class. (He even threatened to not let me in the hospital room if I came out.) So, I'm still at home, wishing I were there. It's just so frustrating now because I feel so useless, and like I want to be there with him, but I can't be. UGH! Has anyone else ever had anything like this? What did you do???


Posts: 175 | From: Midwest US | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 29363

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Well I'm not sure about him really not wanting you to miss your class. I always was wanting to support my boyfriend and always be there for him. I'd go to his track meets, I visited him the in the hospital when he got sick, I ate dinner with him and his parents, etc. But sometimes, he specifically came out and told me, "Do not come. I do not want you there." I think sometimes people just need their space. I know exactly how your frustration feels. Just wait for him to come home. You could maybe send him flowers and a cute card, just to make sure that he knows how much you miss him and care about him. But other than that, it is his choice to tell you not to come, and you should respect it.
Posts: 5 | From: Kansas | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
Member # 26647

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What time is your class? When does he get out of surgery? Although you may not be there before or during, is it possible to go to your class, or atleast half of it to not miss anything, and then head to the hospital to be with him afterwards. I think that would be acceptible. It would be a compromise to both of you.

You wouldn't miss your class entirely, and you'd still get to see him afterwards. But, I don't know the time of his surgery, nor do I know the time of your class, so that is on you to weigh out the possibilities of that suggestion.

The flowers and card thing would be a good suggestion as well. Does he have a cell phone? You could text him a little note saying, "Good luck, I'll be thinking of you!" or something just as simple and meaningful.

I would atleast step foot in class, even if only for a few minutes to talk to the professor about any assignments and to get a general overview. It would be beneficial to you, and it would keep your boyfriend happy.

But if it would work out, and you could do that, I see no harm in popping into his hospital room while he is at surgery to suprise him. But again, that's your call.

Good luck, to you and your boyfriend, I hope everything works out well for both of you [Smile]

And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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