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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » i couldn't find anywhere else to put it...

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Author Topic: i couldn't find anywhere else to put it...
poorlitlerichgirl
Neophyte
Member # 27667

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im not sure if this is the best place but i didnt know where else sorry

basically my issue is my boyfriend who before being my boyfriend was my best friend, i have known him forever and when we are together we are great but recently he has been getting really depressed about one of his other female friends. they were really close and he asked her out she said no and it damaged the friendship then pretty soon after we got together. well we've been together 8 months and he has been getting really depressed about her... and them not being close... he goes to a co ed school and sees this girl everyday at school and i maybe see him once a week, and i cant help thinking that i was plan B and he would prefer it he was with her... i hate myself for being so insecure but i am i dont have one thought i have 10 all on slightly different angles. and i am trying to be supportive and make him feel better but i cant help feeling that the better he feels about her the more likely he is to fall back into love with her and what happens if this time she says Yes?? im sorry this seems so petty but i care and want to know whether i am wasting my time...

Posts: 14 | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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It is understandable to feel the way you do. But you won't know the whole story until you talk to him.

Obviously, he doesn't know how you are feeling. So a good place to start would be to sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him everything you told us here: that you want to be supportive of him but you also feel nervous and a little insecure. It's perfectly OK to admit feeling that way, it's only human.

A similiar situation happened to me, only it was a breakup, not the start of a relationship. The breakup was harder on both of us because not only were we partners, but eachothers best friends, so it was harder than just breaking up w/ someone. It was hard for a while b/c we both felt we had lost a best friend, but felt to awkward going back to how things were. But over time we started talking again, and once we got further into highschool we are now good friends. Things like this tend to take time, something you should maybe remind your boyfriend.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
poorlitlerichgirl
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Member # 27667

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we have spoken about it and he reckons that he would pick me hands down but its still painful... the more we talk about it the less significant i feel. i was in a similar relationship when he and i got together i actually broke up with a good person because of him and now i wonder whether i am as important to him as he is to me... i know paranoia is normal but to what extent does it become a mental illness? there is a history of mental illness in my family... could this be it?
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Bobolink
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Member # 1386

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This could probably be best discussed in Relationships. But remember, in real life eventually almost everybody is someone else's plan B. As adults very few of us end up with our adolescent sweethearts. We all carry the memories of past relationships, good or bad, in our heads for all of our days.

[ 05-21-2006, 11:07 PM: Message edited by: Bobolink ]

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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