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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » :-( so upset

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Author Topic: :-( so upset
xLaurax
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Theres this guy, he knows i like him and we've been talking about the prom for a couple of weeks now, he knew i wanted to go with him but the other day he told me he's going with someone else . Because of this i don't feel like going to the prom anymore, i don't want to see him with HER, i know i'd just end up crying and wouldn't enjoy myself if i did go.

Also, hes really good mates with almost every girl in our year, except me, lately hes been flirting alot with everyone infront of me, i've told him that it upsets me but he still carries on doing it. e.g. we have a class together and today he sat with this girl that he never normally sits with and all he did was flirt with her, whenever i looked at him he looked at me for a second but then carried on flirting.

And today i read this note that he'd wrote to one of my friends (she left it on the table where everyone could see so it wasn't secret or anything) Anyway, I saw the words "love you" at the end. As soon as i read that i had to try so hard to stop myself from crying [Frown]

I really don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have any advice at all? I don't exactly know what type of advice im asking for but anything will be appreaciated. thanks.

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x-x <3 Laura <3 x-x

Posts: 10 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
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This guy probably isn't interested, so I suggest you find something else to do for a little while.

Frankly, asking him to stop flirting with other girls because you're interested in him was a little unreasonable. Both he and you have a right to be interested in and flirt with anyone whom you so dare.

As for prom, if you don't think you're going to have a good time, don't go. But that doesn't mean you have to sit at home and mope about it. Grab some friends and do something else--see a movie, go into the city, go bowling, or even have a big sleepover with cheesy movies and funky colored nail polish. Prom really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm not going to mine, but of the two friends who did go (and attend different schools), one had a nice time, and the other had an awful experience and regretted even going (no date drama, because she went with a group of friends, but the music and food were awful, she says).

You'll get over this guy quicker than you realize as long as you stop worrying about it. It hurts, and that sucks, but it'll be over. As for now, be completely selfish and think up what you'd like to do for fun.

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xLaurax
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Thanks for your advice.

And i only just realised i didn't make myself clear. I mentioned to him that when he flirts with girls infront of me it upsets me, i never told him that he couldnt flirt with anyone.

Its just me and him have been mates for over a year now, i've been upset alot recently but about other things. He listened to me rambling on, comforted me, told me how much he cares about me but then he goes and does things like this. It feels like hes deliberately trying to hurt me [Frown] I don't understand how he can be so two faced towards me, i'm never horrible to him or anything.

Me and him did kind of go out about a year a go, if that makes any difference.

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x-x <3 Laura <3 x-x

Posts: 10 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
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He's not trying to hurt you.

Let's pretend that I'm the guy. Okay? This is my take on it.......

We dated for a while, but now it's over, and I'm enjoying flirting with other girls. Because it's over, and it's been over for about a year. I still value you as a friend, and I realize that it does hurt you when I flirt with other girls. However, I'm not going to stop, because we're friends. Just friends.

Do you see how that could work? He does care about you as a friend, but you aren't going to stop him from flirting with other girls. And he's not going to stop you from flirting with other guys.

If you don't think that you can be friends with him under those conditions, maybe you should just back off for a little while until this heals. There's no problem with that, and I've had friends do it several times, and things have worked out well for them.

[ 05-18-2006, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: origami_jane ]

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xLaurax
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Yeah. Thanks.

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x-x <3 Laura <3 x-x

Posts: 10 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
origami_jane
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I hope everything works out for you, because nobody deserves to feel hurt.

Well, okay, I can think up a few people.... but you're not one of them.

Posts: 129 | From: Mid-Atlantic US | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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