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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » older guys are so much hotter, so y wrong?

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Author Topic: older guys are so much hotter, so y wrong?
bonita_braless
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Member # 28297

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um im age 15 and my mom has a bf (hes 40) that is at our house a lot (since a month ago). when i talk to him i feel sexy like start gettting all hot and flirt. +if i know hes going to be around i feel like i have to wear my tiniest tops and skirts. at first i thought i had a crush on him but then this new teacher at school (hes 35) started giving me the same feelings and when i talked to him 1on1 i felt hot/flirted and rubbed my theigh in front of him. but then even stupider another teacher yesterday gave me the same feelings (not sure age maybe 40+) and its like guysmuch older turn me on but boys my age dont usually make me feel that sexy. and the teachers dont touch me or anything and im all tingly just from talking to them. in bed i have lots of visuals about these older guys kissing and touching me and i get really strong reactions bigger than ever. i feel like if i had a bf much older than me it would be the most sexy feeling, its just so hot! but i hearstuff about guys going to jail for doing things with much younger girls. but i dont get it, why isn't it allowed if the girl wants to?? (plus aren't older guys safer if they have more experience than boys my age?) [Confused]
Posts: 18 | From: miami | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Okay, first of all, we don't support any sort of ageism here.

So, okay: men of an older age are hotter (for now) to YOU, but let's not make sweeping judgements like your title, okay?

There are laws about this because being "hotter" doesn't make everything hunky-dory. There are often big power imbalances that come into play, which plenty of older people take intentional advantage of. This is a HUGE issue, not something that can be summed up in one post, but it's especially an issue with legal adults and minors because they have legal rights and agency you just don't.

Do yourself a favor (and your teachers): treat school like school. It's not appropriate to rub yourself in front of a teacher, and you endager THEIR jobs by doing so (as well as your education). Same goes with your mother's boyfriend: in short, don't be a jerk. Dressing provocatively around someone's partner is just plain crummy.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bonita_braless
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:
Okay, first of all, we don't support any sort of ageism here.

So, okay: men of an older age are hotter (for now) to YOU, but let's not make sweeping judgements like your title, okay?

There are laws about this because being "hotter" doesn't make everything hunky-dory. There are often big power imbalances that come into play, which plenty of older people take intentional advantage of. This is a HUGE issue, not something that can be summed up in one post, but it's especially an issue with legal adults and minors because they have legal rights and agency you just don't.

Do yourself a favor (and your teachers): treat school like school. It's not appropriate to rub yourself in front of a teacher, and you endager THEIR jobs by doing so (as well as your education). Same goes with your mother's boyfriend: in short, don't be a jerk. Dressing provocatively around someone's partner is just plain crummy.

i didnt rub myself like in a sex way, just my theigh not near my panties but close to my knee, was flirty but not THAT rude [Frown]

didnt plan it, just was caught up in the moment of my teacher being so charming, but i know what you mean i wont let him lose his job.

hmmm i know hes my moms bf, but not like im kissing him. if my mom marries him then he will see my body all the time anyway [Smile]

Posts: 18 | From: miami | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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quote:
hmmm i know hes my moms bf, but not like im kissing him. if my mom marries him then he will see my body all the time anyway
Which is NOT the same thing as you, intentionally sexualizing your body to him by dressing to try and draw his sexual attention. If anything, what YOU are doing is making it LESS normalized for him to see your body in a familial, comfortable way.

And you also have control of your actions per your teacher. if you don't have control of your own body and actions, that's an issue, period, you really will need to deal with, because it'll create pretty serious problems for you, potentially, in upper education, in jobs, where your behaviour is going to have a strong impact on your success and acheivements.

[ 04-08-2006, 12:28 PM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bonita_braless
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sorry Miz Scarlet ill stop doing it [Frown]
Posts: 18 | From: miami | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Hey, you don't need to be sorry to me, not at all.

This is just stuff that you'll likely want to adapt, reconsider so that YOU don't end up doing things to YOURSELF, especially, that bring about consequences which won't be a benefit to you, keep you safe, and enable healthy relationships.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
yamis
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Hello, I am Yamila, from Uruguay
I have 18 years at the moment, although they give me more age.
I begin in the sex to the 14 years, with a male 48 greater years that I, and be the best that could be for my.
time later, I had sexual relationships also with other very old males, until today day and I want to continue that way.
Do you speak Spanish? My inglish is very poor.
I live in Uruguay (South America), between Brazil and Argentina


quote:
Originally posted by bonita_braless:
um im age 15 and my mom has a bf (hes 40) that is at our house a lot (since a month ago). when i talk to him i feel sexy like start gettting all hot and flirt. +if i know hes going to be around i feel like i have to wear my tiniest tops and skirts. at first i thought i had a crush on him but then this new teacher at school (hes 35) started giving me the same feelings and when i talked to him 1on1 i felt hot/flirted and rubbed my theigh in front of him. but then even stupider another teacher yesterday gave me the same feelings (not sure age maybe 40+) and its like guysmuch older turn me on but boys my age dont usually make me feel that sexy. and the teachers dont touch me or anything and im all tingly just from talking to them. in bed i have lots of visuals about these older guys kissing and touching me and i get really strong reactions bigger than ever. i feel like if i had a bf much older than me it would be the most sexy feeling, its just so hot! but i hearstuff about guys going to jail for doing things with much younger girls. but i dont get it, why isn't it allowed if the girl wants to?? (plus aren't older guys safer if they have more experience than boys my age?) [Confused]


Posts: 1 | From: uruguay | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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