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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » dad problems.

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Author Topic: dad problems.
sekretful
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Member # 28576

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how do i get a good relationship back with my dad?.
two years ago on my birthday my nan (who was one of my best friend, the onli person that knows me inside out and was alwaes there to giv me advice) passed away, it was very sudden she jus went into hospital and thn 2 days later died. i watched her die it was me n the room with her and yeh i seen it all which hurt but once we had all finishd crying and stuff n the room with her we got to gether in the family room. i said to my dad "where do we go from here, are we going to nans house or home?" and he turned around looked a tme n sed "all i know is this whole death isnt going to b revolved around you so dont make it that way". i have never been so hurt in my life i had jus watched my nan die n thats wot he sed. it wasnt because he was hurting as it wasnt his mum it was my mums mum n he didnt hav much to do with her. but ever since then i havnt felt the same towards my dad and it hurts as everything i do at school (i am a high achiever) is to make my dad proud. i want the bond we once had back but dont know how!

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*sekretful*

Posts: 19 | From: New Zealand | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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y'know, it's hard to watch peole grieve. it gets really awkward really fast. your dad was just frustrated, and he just took it out on you (which was wrong with him).

if you want to patch things up with your dad, then you need to confront him and say this,
quote:
"Dad, I think the world of you, and I miss the closeness we used to have. A while ago, I was really upset over Nan's passing, and you were really insensitive to my grief. I had a right to grieve, but you chose to mock me at a tough time. You may not have been as upset over Nan's passing as the rest of us, but that didn't give you the right to dismiss my feelings as insignificant. I just want you to know that really hurt me, and made it really hard for me to really open up to you. I need for you to be more accepting of the things that are important to me so we can restore the closeness in our relationship."
i presume that's what you feel. But please sdjust the wording to fit your needs.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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