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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » He's still trying to talk to me

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Author Topic: He's still trying to talk to me
Bahdahboomdei
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Member # 28429

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Alright: A guy, I posted a topic on him a while ago. Since then We stopped talking. We were casualy fooling around, and then we ended up fooling a bit too much around, and had sex, which happend to be my first time doing that. We did a couple times after that, until I found out that he'd been fooling around with some woman.
Now I am back home for a while. I go back to the same place though soon but I hope to not see him ever again. Somehow he got my email from a mutual friend. And he messaged me. The first message I just ignored. Then the second I answered. I dont know if I should just cut all contact off with him or not. I feel really hurt anytime i hear from him cause I know what he did to me which makes me want to forget him completey. And, another part of me wants to talk to him and hope that things will change. But I jhust dont know if it's worth it or not

Posts: 52 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Member # 139

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It's probably best for you cut off contact, if it upsets you. Really, if he hurt you once, it's not out the question for him to do it again.

Ignore his email, and tell your friend that you don't want contact right now. They should respect your wishes.

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Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer
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Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bahdahboomdei
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It makes me feel sad to think about him,,,i would like to just loose contact, but another part really wants things to be ok,, or maybe just to let him know that he hurt me. I actually dont even think he knows I know he's been messing around with another woman..actually i've found out it's been plural women. I just stopped hanging around him, and never answered his calls or anything. But now we are far apart, i guess it would be wisest to just drop it for good.
Is it wrong to want him to know what I feel like?

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September
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Member # 25425

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Nope, that's not wrong at all. You've been hurt by this guy, and you want him to know that he screwed up. That's perfectly understandable.

Maybe, if you feel up to that, you can reply to that e-mail he sent you by explaining to him that you know he was cheating and that you were hurt by it. If you want no further contact with him, go ahead and let him know that, as well.

Or, if you don't think you want to communicate with him anymore, you can just write all your feelings about him in a letter, put it in an envelope and rip it into a million tiny pieces. I do this a lot when I need to see something in words but don't want to actually confront the person and believe me, it helps.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Beppie
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It sounds like you've not been communicating efficiently with this guy from the start. It seems like you initially didn't define the terms of your relationship (which certainly does not excuse his dishonesty, even by omission), and now you need to define the terms of any ongoing contact with him. As it seems like you're really not comfortable with any contact right now, I recommend, along with others, sending him a polite but firm note along the lines of "I'm not comfortable being in contact with you right now, due to our relationship in the past. Please respect this by not attempting to initiate any further communication with me. All the best-- <your name>.
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Bahdahboomdei
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Wow, thanks guys. This is something I cant really talk to any one about. It's been really wierd. I think I'll try the firm email. And I'll include that I want no more contact with him.
Posts: 52 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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