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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » marriage? scariness...

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Author Topic: marriage? scariness...
Member # 8636

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so i posted a question about how i messed everything up with my boyfriend/best friend but didn't really get any feedback. (i know, its a busy site, i understand!). Anyway quickly, "john" and I have been together for two years and taken a couple breaks but always come back to eachother. the last break we had i rushed into intercourse with a guy i didn't really know and regretted it. I didn't know how to tell john and in my stupidity decided not to tell him. he found out and things are bad because i lost the trust that we had spent two years building up and he lost respect for me (cuz it was so not something i would normally do) and i lost respect for myself and my decisionmaking skills.
so we were talking the other night and he brought up the idea of like... if we do get back together whats going to happen to us? because we've been talking/fighting about this for a month and its a 100 times bigger than any other problem we've dealt with. He is already 2 years into college and if we get over this huge of a deal to be together, its not going to be for a month long relationship, do u know what i mean? I know that we could have a serious long-term relationship and then find that once we're out of college that we dont really want to be together anymore or something and thats fine, but im wondering if getting back together after something like this is really a good idea because neither of us will ever really have been able to date around in college and i worried that even though we love each other we will resent each other later on for missing out in college.
any ideas?

Posts: 273 | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 3

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I think if either if you know or strongly suspect you'd like to be open to dating now, then it'd be wise to arrange things so that you are able to do that, whether that means breaking it off, or having a more open relationship.

You can't know what you will or won't want later, what you will or won't feel you missed out on. You just really can't. You two have to make your decisions based on what you feel now, and can envicion over a realistic time period, say the next couple years.

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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