Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » HELP PLEASE!!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: HELP PLEASE!!!
Esmeraldah17
Neophyte
Member # 25876

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Esmeraldah17     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've never really had a boyfriend before that has changed me and met my family and I have met his family. I mean I get along with everyone and everything seems to be going great...but its not. My boyfriend seems to get my angry all time! and I am the type that you get my angry and I wanna fix it. I am willing to talk about it with him and know why he gets me angry for...little things he does like hanging up on me, giving me attidude and ok...get gets mad if I want to hang out with my friend, Amanda. I havent hung out with her for weeks and that hurts me real bad cause now she thinks I have betrayed her and then thing is that everyone one is saying that's messed up and my boyfriend has changed me and I am a really bad friend etc...I dont know what to do. I love my friend to death and I would hate to lose her friendship and i miss being with her but then again I have feelings for my boyfriend and we have so many plans ahead of us..but I dont know what to do! I mean I love my friend and sometimes I feel like all she thinks about is how I have not been with her rather than be happy for me since I have a boyfriend but no and my boyfriend he can be the bestest boyfriend ever and then he treats me bad...I HAVE NO IDEA what to do! PLease help
Posts: 16 | From: vista CA , USA | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ghosty
Activist
Member # 17968

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Ghosty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
First of all, you say that you get angry a lot ?
Perhaps you could take it easy and calm a bit down ?

When it comes to your boyfriend, to me it seems that he has some control issue problems. Hanging up on you is just immature, however being mad at you because you want to go out with your friend, makes me a bit confused.

How much time do you feel that you re spending with your boyfriend ?
How much time do you have for yourself and friends ?
Really, ask yourself that, then go to your boyfriend and ask him how he feels about it and what his answer is to those questions.

Listen to yourself first, and try to find something that makes you happy !
But of course, listen to others and see how they feel


Posts: 79 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hold the phone.

How long have you been dating this guy?

The "bestest boyfriend ever" doesn't cut off his partner's friendships in any way. If he feels he wants more time with you than he'd like, he might ASK you for that in a caring way, but this ain't it. This sort of behaviour, especially coupled with anger management problems, is a big, glaring signal of someone who is potentially abusive or already emotionally abusive in some respects.

And you trying to fix this stuff by changing YOUR behaviour, your friendships, is total victim behaviour.

From the sounds of things, this guy is in no way a keeper. Just because he's the first one to come along isn't reason enough to stay, especially with heralds of abuse.


Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Too?

The sexual pushing you described here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum2/HTML/007557.html ?

Also a very big glaring warning sign.

And remember this one?
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/006648.html

This guy, thus far, appears to be batting less than zero.


Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Esmeraldah17
Neophyte
Member # 25876

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Esmeraldah17     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know in my past posts they seem pretty bad but it all changed now. He respects the whole sex after marriage and now he says excuse me and has more manners but I mean honetly I am happy with him..so happy but my friend cant understand that and people are telling her how bad of a friend I am to her for "abanding her"..etc. but I just dont know what to do. Plus, I had a conversation with her today and I told her that me and my boyfriend had a discussion and she said " well did it get good?" "what? what do you mean?" , " Yeah did it get good that it was an arguement?", "no!", " So that way you guys break up!". I felt real bad. I do have so many feelings for him but I also would like to keep my friendship with her. I just dont understand! what do you think?
Posts: 16 | From: vista CA , USA | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LilBlueSmurf     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I dont understand how you can call someone wishing you such unhappyness (such as breaking up with your boyfriend) a friend. This does not sound like a friend to me. A friend would be supportive of your choice, regardless of what her own choices would be.

I agree with Miz Scarlets post about your boyfriend ... You say he's changed, but if you scroll up to the top of this very thread, you say yourself that sometimes he treats you bad. Sometimes? How often is sometimes? And why is sometimes even acceptable? It shouldn't be.


Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3