I am in a relationship with a guy right now who is my best friend. There are a few problems however. He is currently very far from me due to work and we have seen each other maybe a month out of the last four. We have been doing okay with that since we talk all the time on the phone or email, and he is always planning visits so I know he cares. He really loves me and is the first person I could actually see spending my life with however there are some problems. I am not used to "relationships", I have always just been close with guys, making out with whoever I wanted, but not getting too serious. I am used to being with someone when I want, and having a stable boyfriend who is far away none the less.. is hard. I am not saying I slept around, my boyfriend is my first actually, and that might be part of the problem too. The sex is fine, but I have never gotten off from it, and it makes me wonder how it would be with other people. It seems like it should be great, he can last for ages and he asks me what I want him to do and is focused on me. His penis is on the smaller side of all the guys I have come in contact with, which dissapointed me truthfully, but like I said I have not had experience in actual sex so I do not know how much of a difference it makes, or if any of the other guys I could have been with would pleasure me better. This is nothing I would leave him for of course, yet it frustrates me. The other day I "cuddled?" someone else. We were fully clothed, just nuzzling and touching and...grinding, I guess. I wouldn't let him kiss me yet he did once. It felt amazing to be held again in general(not that I have anything for this particular guy, at all.) After I didn't really feel guilty, it wasn't hugely sexual but it wasn't appropriate either. I miss being able to be close with guys, just holding and kissing. If my boyfriend was here all the time it would be different.I hope. I am worried about being with someone and losing that "feeling" you get before a first kiss or first touching someone. This guy is my best friend though, he treats me so well and I love treating him the same, we talk about everything, he will love me when I am old and wrinkly, but it is hard. Can someone give me advice?
Posts: 35 | Registered: Aug 2002
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The only advice i can give you is to decide, sooner rather than later, whether you're okay w/ a long distance relationship.
How would your current partner feel if he knew that you'd been snuggling and 'grinding' w/ another guy? Maybe he'd be fine w/ it; i don't know. I'm asking. This is something you need to consider. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
It sounds to me like you're settling for this guy because you know he'll be there for you later on. Do you think this is fair to you? Dont you feel like you deserve better than settling? How would your partner feel knowing you were just 'settling', and not really happy?
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