posted
Right, im a newbie, dont know whether this is the right place but here goes....
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and have really got on great we've always been able to talk about anything. Just recently hes been very quiet, he doesnt talk much anymore and spends a hell of a lot of time on the computer. Ive asked him whats wrong and he says nothing. But we dont seem to go anywhere anymore and when we do its only to the cinema. We live together so I know hes not cheating and we alos work at the place (although not the same department).
Please can somebody tell me what is going on in his head or if it is just me being paranoid??
HELP NEEDED ASAP
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Posts: 7 | From: Liverpool, England | Registered: Nov 2005
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If you, someone who has known him for two years, don't have a clue what's up with him, we, having never met him at all, can't possibly know.
But he probably has a clue. He's the expert on him.
Rather than continuing to ask him what is wrong, why not focus on your wants and needs, and how whatever is wrong is effecting you. Why not express a desire to get out more, to spend more time together and less computer time, to communicate more. Why not ask if he's feeling okay about the relationship lately, or if there's something he'd like to work on.
Posts: 63426 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Pinky, I find it slightly ironic that you would say that, seeing as you went and quoted exactly what Miz Scarlet said on another board of someone asking advice.
Posts: 406 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Miz Scarlet's advice is sound in the circumstances. If you have a problem with the staff, you should point it to email, as the guidelines state.
How, exactly, are any of us supposed to know what is going through his head? That's like me insisting you guess what number I'm thinking of right this second - the odds of getting it right are so small, it's not even worth trying.
Seriously, if you're fed up of not going anywhere, approach him with it, but gently. Maybe say "hey, wanna go out for lunch or something?" No one said the guy has to make the moves, try making some suggestions on going out yourself.
(Furthermore, a good many of my friends are now in the phase where they have "settled down" with their SO's, and they don't go out so much any more. Eventually, all relationships reach a point where the need to go on dates and impress each other passes and you just feel cozy vegging on the sofa in front of a good TV programme with each other.)
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