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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » fell in love with someone off the internet

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Author Topic: fell in love with someone off the internet
playbunny
Neophyte
Member # 21781

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hey my name is charley im 17 from london now i know u guys are gnna call me mad but 18 motnhs ago i met this guy from the net and have been going out for the past 16 months the thing is that we have never met before and ive fallen in love with him we speak to each other everyday on the fone and everything and he says that he loves me now i would do anything for him but my mum has jst found out and as u can tell she isnt happy i just want to be with him so bad but he lives in scunthorpe thats 300 miles away.

what shall i do im so confused and scared that if i meet up with him that he aint gonna b the person i thougth he was gnna b for example he may rush things and ive had that experience before with people forcing me and i think you can gather what im trying to say now 3 yrs ago nearly four i gave birth to my daughter


please help me im really confused


Posts: 30 | From: england | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, it's always a possibility that when you meet someone you won't have chemistry with them, and someone in person is always going to be at least slightly different than they are in a limited medium like online or on the phone.

So, it's smart, and realistic, not to get TOO invested in a relationship before you've ever met someone, as a rule. It's also smart and realistic to be prepared for, when meeting them, them not to meet your expectations or for you not to meet theirs. That's just how it goes.

Per worries he may force you, if in 16 months you and he haven't taked about that at all, and you DO intend on meeting him, then it's WAY past time you do that. As well, if you have'n't had any sort of counseling or processing to deal with what it was that happened to you before, or still feel unable to protect yourself and make smart choices with people -- and assert yourself easily -- I'd suggest you do that before entering into a relationship.

Per the rest? We've got something for you right here: Getting Real: Relationships on the Net.

Lastly, I'd suggest you talk to Mom. I'm sure you can probably strike some sort of compromise so the two of you can meet safely, probably with her right with you (which would be a Very Good Idea).

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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
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leena_a
Neophyte
Member # 21792

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hey
i am 20 and i started chatting with this guy in october 2004...hardly 4 months ago..and we fell in love with each other.(my 1st relationship as a grown up, i mean not the teen thingy).atleast from my side i did, and he says that too..my parents know about it, and he even said hes gonna come to meet me in april. and he used to call up everyday, and i could make out that he was pretty seriuos...but lately, we havnt been talking, he is a little busy with his work...i dunno if i shud continue bcoz i have also started to feel a little fakeness in the whole relationship..(from his side)i am very confused...i dunno if hes just having fun or he is actually seriuos...what do i do????plz help

[No need to quote the entire post. Using the "reply" buttons at the top and bottom of the thread allow you to post without quoting. -ook]

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 02-10-2005).]


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playbunny
Neophyte
Member # 21781

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i feel the exact same way this guy is also threatening to kill him self if i dnt go to see him i really want to but im scared that i will get hurt like ive done in the past
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ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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Threatening to kill himself if you don't go see him? RED FLAG FOR A PROBLEM. That's not love; that's manipulation. Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with someone (in any form, online or off) who would make threats like that?
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celery
Activist
Member # 5594

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Seriously, it definetly does not sound like a good idea for you to be involved with someone if they're threatening to kill themselves if you don't go see them.

You said you are scared of there being pressure on you, and forcing you to do things... well he already is pressuring you to go meet him, when you're obviously having doubts about it. My advice would be to stop talking to this guy.


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playbunny
Neophyte
Member # 21781

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well i havint spoken to him for a few days but its breaking me apart because i feel i havce nothing without him yea i have my daughter but who else my friends say its good to feel loved isnt it but i say yeah but i dnt really no whether he does or not i mean a few days ago he had an arguement with his mum and txt me saying im falling apart and dont no what to do and that im never going to see him because hes going to die i really dont want him to die though i really do like him
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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He's not going to die, kid.

If he's really said that (and I say this because your posts have me highly confused, as you've stated in a different thread you have another boyfriend entirely), he's likely being dramatic or he's playing you, as explained above.

Drama: sounds like EVERYONE needs a break from it.

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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
ST homepage • ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen


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playbunny
Neophyte
Member # 21781

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tahnks for your help all of you i really aprewciate it
Posts: 30 | From: england | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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