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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » being more social..?

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Author Topic: being more social..?
Member # 16955

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Okay, so here's kind of my problem..
Ever since I was little I've been kind of quiet/ a little shy, but as I got older & started being more active in school, I met more people & was 'less shy'. The only thing is, I never really was able to 'hold on' to most friendships (only a few close ones), mostly because I could sometimes appear standoffish and was pretty quiet around some people. I had 2 boyfriends in highschool, one that was very serious, but now that I'm going off to college in about a week, I'm having all these fears that college is going to be like high school & that I might not be able to 'change'.
Like I said, I've 'come out of my shell'- in terms of being reserved-, so to speak, a lot, but I never really had any guy friends or lots of girl friends in school, just the boyfriends that I had. I'm going to push myself to be more laid back & social at school now, so that people won't get the wrong impression, but I feel like I really need help w/just relaxing more & learning how to have better friendships/talks w/people- and also not to be so intimidated and shy around guys (usually if they're cute!)
Any suggestions?

Posts: 14 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7897

Icon 12 posted      Profile for Maryha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
As an occasionally shy person myself, I understand your predicament completely. It can be really difficult to try to relax and just be social, and for people like us who tend to be shy it can be quite the struggle. . . But keep up with it. Just be nice to people, ask questions, and take an interest. It will seem awkward at first, probably, but eventually it gets more natural. And just remember, it's not popularity that counts when it comes to friends, it's how good the friends you have are.

As for being more comfortable with guys. . . I don't remember a time when I wasn't a bit flustered being around a guy I found attractive, and I'm a pretty notorious flirt! Basically, just be friendly even if you're thinking the whole time how stupid you must sound. Odds are, if there a nice guy, they'll just think you're cuter for it.

Best of luck!

Posts: 218 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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sometimes it's hard just diving in and trying ot talk to more people. you need something to mediate the whole social interaction. stuff like community service, clubs, activities and sports are a good start. this puts you in with a bunch of people at once, doing something you're all interested in, and working as a group. it's great for socializing, even if it sort of seems "by accident."

here are some links to help you

How to Approach People/Meeting People

LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information for Los Angeles County residents.
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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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