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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Some Christians increasingly shunning dating

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Author Topic: Some Christians increasingly shunning dating
Dzuunmod
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 226

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Is dating just preparation for divorce? That's the feeling among a small, but growing number of Christians in the United States.

The article that's linked to above recounts the story of a couple in Tennessee who didn't hold hands until two years after making a lifelong commitment to one another and, even then, felt the need to consult their parents on the issue.

They made their commitment when one of them was 20, and the other was 14. The argument here is that if you aren't committed to someone when you begin seeing your relationship with them as a romantic one, then you are setting yourself up for a fall. If you commit to a relationship without first investing emotionally in it, then you will not end up hurt, ever.

My partner and I spoke about this last night, and I think we're mostly on the same page, here. Because I'm an atheist, I don't feel I should be living my life for any other people or outside forces, like my parents, or a god. So, I wouldn't ever consult my parents about whether or not I have their permission to do something that doesn't directly affect them (at least, I wouldn't do so at this stage in my life.)

Because of this, I just can't agree with one of the people quoted in the article, when he says "We've always taught (our children) that dating is not the way. Hearing God is the way, and He will tell you who to marry."

What do you think?


Posts: 1515 | From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DillonsGirl22
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Member # 4543

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quote:
Originally posted by Dzuunmod:
Is dating just preparation for divorce? That's the feeling among a small, but growing number of Christians in the United States.

The article that's linked to above recounts the story of a couple in Tennessee who didn't hold hands until two years after making a lifelong commitment to one another and, even then, felt the need to consult their parents on the issue.

They made their commitment when one of them was 20, and the other was 14. The argument here is that if you aren't committed to someone when you begin seeing your relationship with them as a romantic one, then you are setting yourself up for a fall. If you commit to a relationship without first investing emotionally in it, then you will not end up hurt, ever.

My partner and I spoke about this last night, and I think we're mostly on the same page, here. Because I'm an atheist, I don't feel I should be living my life for any other people or outside forces, like my parents, or a god. So, I wouldn't ever consult my parents about whether or not I have their permission to do something that doesn't directly affect them (at least, I wouldn't do so at this stage in my life.)

Because of this, I just can't agree with one of the people quoted in the article, when he says "We've always taught (our children) that dating is not the way. Hearing God is the way, and He will tell you who to marry."

What do you think?



I am a Christian, and have a relationship with God. I am only 16, but I feel like God does tell me who to be with , and directs me towards that relationship. The guy I am with now, and have been for the past 3 years, is my soul mate. I only feel this way because God has told me that he is the one for me. I do agree with you though that someone shouldn't have to talk to their parents about things like that and have their permission to do things. Just my opinion and my belief.


Posts: 13 | From: Illinois | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Etch
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Member # 182

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I believe that if you get into a relationship and you are too convinced that it was gods plan that might be setting you up for extreem pain and dissapointment if you ever break up with that person. I mean, perhaps if you believe god put you in a relationship to learn more about yourself and not that it will be forever and a day without really getting to know that person or what being with that person in the future will be like. And people can have that problem with god or without where they become to attached thinking that it was "meant to be" I think God puts us in different relationships so we know what works with us and so that we can deal with separation and heartache (spouses can die or change over time and you lose them)

And then what if you are so convinced that god wanted you to be with someone then you learn that person isnt who you thought he was. You will most likely be angry at God. And that isnt good for people firm in their religion.

I would never say a relationship is ordained by god unless i heard his voice telling me so. And i dont mean in my sleep or while i am intoxicated in any way. I just think putting that sort of commitment and faith into it can be detramental for some people. But i guess it works for others.


Posts: 523 | From: Ashland, Oregon, US | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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