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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » So Summer's over and she's going away to College.

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Author Topic: So Summer's over and she's going away to College.
DesignerFriend
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So here's a little back story:

I met this wonderful girl at the beginning of the year January and we started talking as friends at first. We got closer and then I started dating my currently girlfriend at the beginning of June, and it's been amazing so far. Her family absolutely adores me and my family feels the same way about her. I've been on various family outings and trips with her. So that being it's brought us a lot closer. It doesn't feel as if we've only dated for 2 months and we both want a long term relationships. I'm a little nervous about her going away to College, and I'm not afraid to admit that. So in this case I'm staying home and going to college and she's going away, and it would be a 9hr drive to go visit her. Okay so here's my part, I'm a little insecure, and I'm not sure if this is taking away from her whole college experience? .

Posts: 3 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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It's OK to be insecure and scared. That's actually a pretty normal part of what will probably be a big change for you two: going from spending lots of time together to spending far less time AND not being able to have close contact. That's a tough switch, but it can be done. My own partner and I go to different schools, but we've managed to make it work (sans some bumps along the way) because we WANT it to work and are willing to put forth the effort.

What, persay, are your insecurities here? Are you worried about the distance pushing you guys apart (and I mean in an emotionally connected sense, not a physical sense), are you worried about either of you finding "someone else", are you worried about just not being able to handle the time apart? Because those are all things that can be overcome to an extent if you're both willing to put in the time and effort to keep things going.

So, communication is going to key here. How does she feel about all this? Have you sat down and had a conversation about how you're going to handle this? If not, do so soon.

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Abbie
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DesignerFriend
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I am worried about the distance pushing us apart. Also what worries me is her finding someone else. We did have that conversation about her going away already. I could tell it was going to be a difficult conversation but we came to the conclusion that we want to make it work. That we want to stay together and make an effort. My worries are still there although we settled this shaky topic, and this is just me being a little nervous. I'm sure she feels the same way after having the conversation. She planned visits, what days she's free, the days I can come visit. So there was a lot of thought put into her time off for me and appreciate that from her.
Posts: 3 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
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maybe, in terms of the concern of her finding someone else, you could think of it in reverse? What I mean by that is -- well you trust that she loves you as much as you love her, right? So in that case, it means she's as likely to find someone else as you are. And how likely do you feel that is, that YOU will find someone else?

Hope that helps make you feel a bit better about the whole idea [Smile] I know it helped me when I had to face the big possibility that my boyfriend would be on the other side of the country for a long while.

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DesignerFriend
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This is so true, and I understand. Thank you guys for giving me this relief, and for all of your input.
Posts: 3 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
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Glad I could help [Smile] It sounds to me like you guys have the right idea about this -- good strong communication, and a lot of effort you're willing to put in [Big Grin] Good luck with this [Smile]
Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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