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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Is There Something Wrong With Me???

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Author Topic: Is There Something Wrong With Me???
Member # 43667

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Hi everyone, I go by the name SoulfulBrownEyez, since i prefer not to give out my real name. i am new to this forum and I am interested in sharing my views on the world of dating, sex, and other issues that pretain to the teenage brain. Being an eighteen year old female, having a companion to hang out with (i don't use the word boyffriend 'cause i don;t liek the word that much and I never use it). There is something that bothers me though. As a young woman, I carry myself in a respectable yet fun manner, however I get extremely embrassed when telling my closest friends that I have never kissed a boy, nor have I ever had a "boyfriend" or been on a date. I sometimes feel as though boys/men don;t ever want to hang with me because I am not the woman that they want, i.e. exoitc looking, big silicon breasts, bum and private area. I sometimes feel ugly because guys don't ask me out on dates or just to hang out in general. my question is: Is there something wrong with me?

I am the person to talk to if you feel as though no one else hears you. I am a greater listener and I speak my mind expressively. I am a person who is fun-loving and will give respect despite how you treat me.

Posts: 2 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I have to be honest with you: beyond you talking about breast implants (few of which are silicone anymore: most are saline), I don't even know what this means: "exoitc looking, big silicon breasts, bum and private area." Can you clarify?

I will say that sometimes younger men have maturity issues when it comes to recognizing the difference between real women in real life, and women they may see in media or pornography. That's nothing the matter with you, and in some ways, it's nothing the matter with them, per se, either. It's a problem with culture, but it does tend to be resolved with age and maturity.

I'd also add that guys asking you to hang out as friends generally has zip to do with apprearances.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 43159

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Hi SoulfulBrownEyez, and welcome [Smile] I really like it here at Scarleteen and I hope you do too. I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts and hearing your views.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you whatsoever. There's a lot of social pressure on women to look, act, and think a certain way, because that is supposedly what all men want. Truthfully, though, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and personal taste is incredibly diverse. Instead of trying to appeal to some fictionalized male fantasy, I've found that it's much more helpful to focus on what makes me feel good about myself, and put my energy there.


I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe...
I do, I do, I do.

Posts: 140 | From: Montreal | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43486

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Well, I'm also eighteen and female, and I can say right now that I doubt there is anything wrong with you. You are yourself, with your own unique strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. Personally, if someone I hang around with makes me feel bad about myself, I don't hang out with that person again. It's true that people judge others based on looks, but attractiveness is completely subjective. While the exotic looking, large breasted woman may be certain guys' dream girl, that doesn't hold true for the whole gender.

And as vshanti said, focus on what you like about yourself. Put those qualities first. It's the most frustrating thing in the world to look at other girls and wonder why they can 'get guys' when you can't, but I recommend stepping away from those thoughts and enjoy being yourself.

Posts: 52 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 43276

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There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is lovable in their own way and perhaps your prince is just temporarily lost.

Also, you don't need to look like women in the media to be attractive. I know there are guys out there who like small breasts and other differences from the images in the media. And if a guy was right for you, then he would love you no matter how you look. If you ever get a boyfriend who tells you you're not good enough, you should probably re-examine that relationship.

In my earlier years, I was forever asking myself the question, why doesn't guys like me, why don't they ask me out. And one day I just kind of gave up on waiting and said, okay I like this guy, I'm going to try to develope a friendship with him, tell him I like him, and ask him out. In most cases it has worked. And if they don't like you back, well you can still stay friends. Mourn a bit, a try to move on.

Posts: 53 | From: Toronto | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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