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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » a fight....

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Author Topic: a fight....
short stuff
Member # 3415

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hi. i was just curious about everyone and their partners get into little, medium or big fights. are you usually the one to call first and apologize, yell, cry..? or vice versa? are the fights over major problems or just stupid little things? how have they resulted? (i'm just curious about what's going on or has in the lives of other couples.) thanks.

*always be prepared for the worst*

Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3250

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My boyfriend and I rarely fight. If we do, it's over little tiny things and we resolve them within the hour. My boyfriend simply hates to fight so he always apologizes to me first (usually the fight is his fault anyway). He's so cute cause he gets so upset over the fights and he ends up saying something incredibly romantic, like, "You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you over such an iota-sized tiff." aww I love him so much
Posts: 63 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2870

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I've not had any fights with my girlfriend, I don't see the point.
Posts: 105 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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well, i certainly do see the point. my boyfriend and i fight when we need to. occasionally. and really i think it's a good thing because this way we're not holding things back from each other or holding secret grudges or getting bitter about things - everything is out in the open, and we talk when we need to.

part of it is just my personality. i'm competitive and curious, and if things aren't right i want to fix them. i don't just let people get away with things that bother me. but another part is that i worry about couples that never fight, because i think they often just aren't talking about the right things.


if you want to kiss the sky, you better learn how to kneel (on your knees, boy) -U2

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I'm a lot like you, em.

My bf and I have been together for just over a month and we haven't had a fight yet. We're both really honest w/ each other, and I think we've had at least 2 "how is this relationship going for you" conversations. I love to talk. So does he. So it works out well

If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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You know, I think it really depends on the dynamic between two people.

I have been in relationships where my partner and I fought. And everything in between.

But, I would agree with some of what Emsily said -- I think I'd become highly concerned if I didn't have at least minor scrapples now and then with whomever I was with. Because you both care, and because you're intimate, you become invested, and that can emotionally charge situations.

However, I have noticed that when in any relationship my partner and I began to fight about totally unimportant things, or when we fought or argued a LOT that is was usually a signal of an impending end.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2870

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Heh, the biggest thing that me and my girl have argued about is the pronunciation of the word "bus", and of course it wasn't a serious argument... I just don't find things to argue with her aobut.

Perhaps when I spend more time with her, but not at the moment...

Posts: 105 | From: London | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3243

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My current BF and I have only been together for about 2 and 1/2 weeks, soooo....we haven't had any arguements, so far it's just been wonderful. But I happen to think it's okay to have little disagreements or arguements every so often. It's normal and not necessarily a bad thing unless all you do is argue! But some little fights are okay, because as em said, it shows that you're open with eachother about everything, even when you don't agree or are upset over something....and that's important.

In my previous relationships, the only time huge fights have come up was when the relationship was already going downhill. And usually our arguements weren't over anything serious, mostly just disagreements or "discussion type" arguements, or "I'm in a bad mood, you're annoying" arguements. I'm one of those people that tries to talk my way around fighting, for the most part.

Lil Siren
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"What kind of paradise am I looking for? I've got everything I want, and still I want more...."- Ani

Posts: 190 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Yeah, we do fight sometimes. Sometimes it's over big stuff, and sometimes it's over small stuff. But certainly neither one of us minds. It keeps us open and honest with each other, and we let stuff out before anyone really starts to get bitter about it. I don't think either one of us minds it very much at all. I'm not sure I could be with someone who never disagreed with me, or who wouldn't call me on it when I'm wrong. Sometimes they're just little disagreements, and occasionally we have an knock-down, drag-out, no-holds-barred altercation (not in the physical sense though), lol. I always tell him that it's a good thing we don't live together, cause if once we really got started, I'd probably start breaking things...and I'd start with his stuff.


the kittenblog

"What is the odds so long as the fire of soul is kindled..."
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Gumdrop Girl
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i'm a jerk. i start the fight, kick him out of my house. then he'll email or call me to apologize. the poor guy is whipped and lets me get away with it. i know i'm wrong to snap at him the way i do (at least it's on the frequency of every two months or so, usually during one of my depressed spells). but he's a saint for putting up with me.

i usually get upset over stupid things, like i'll get jealous or just start hating the world. but i still love him to bits.

oh, but we do bicker over hot topics like abortion and drugs (i'm pro-choice and very anti-drug, he's the opposite). that gets ugly. at least we agree politically, otherwise, there would be no peace.

The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that the universe is constantly moving to a state of greater entropy s, therefore, delta s is always greater than zero.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I'm the jerk too, as Gummy Girl puts so eloquently.

For the time me and Fabian have been together, I cannot recall him starting any fights or arguments. Simply because he is a great believer in the "If we don't talk about it, it will go away" policy. Which happens to be one of the dumbest things I have heard in my life.

So, I bring up the problems and I don't always try to solve them in a nice manner. Usually involves alot of screaming and crying. Still trying to learn to be more rational and level-headed

Want More Lin?

[This message has been edited by Lin (edited 05-01-2001).]

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2232

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weLL...i hate 2 admit and say that my bf and i have bEEn fighting and arguing a lot lately. i HONESTLY believe that he starts most of the fights. i know that sounds a bit self-centered, but that's what i think. he is very picky and gets iRRitated by a lot of things that dont even remotely make me irate. we're almost oPPosites when it comes to opinions on iSSues and situations. i hate it when we fight. i dont kinda on the depreSSed side actuaLLy.

peace, love, & seXwax!

Posts: 117 | From: Honolulu, HI | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3494

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fights fights way of gettin away from and my bf fight at least once a month....i think it does us good cuz it just showes each of us how much we love and care for eachother even some fights are healthy....
Posts: 13 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2404

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| || || ||same here power girl| || || || || ||
I think fights are mainly caused becuz your partner wants to fight! and they know that soon enough you and your partner will get together again and share your love again and that's prolly what they needed!
So some fights are called for and lots of relationship is needed in for fights!
so if you have a relationship where u never fought with you hunnie not yet?
Plan a little arguement or a fight!
but make sure you have it planned out good so it won't get too much of a out of control fight! but if that does happen just make up real quick and love eachother and plan better next time!

Posts: 10 | From: Sanford,Florida,USA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
Member # 3415

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hi everyone. okay i think i figured out what's causing my fights. misunderstandings. dang.. it actually is the worst kind of "fight" because both people involved have no idea what's going on and both people get blamed. those suck. but i'm glad everyone put in their opinion. seriously it helps to hear what happens in other people's lives. i dont know how, it just does. thanks again. take care

*always be prepared for the worst*

Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3072

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Lin and GummyGirl seem to have a lot in common with my most recent girlfriend. I was way too laid back for her...she used to get frustrated with me when I wouldn't argue with her. I think she wanted me to be as upset as she was about silly things...but it is more like me to laugh them off than to raise a stink.

Of course, this proved to be a real problem when she left the country. Because, as is my standard operating procedure, I laughed things off rather than deal with them...and it bit me right in the proverbial *** .

As for when she was still in the US, we had over three years of terrific times and fantastic fights. Sonia was a butt-kicker, there's no doubt about it...and even though I didn't like her arguing about silly things (like why I washed my dishes by hand even though I have a dishwasher), I found her strong-willed nature and argumentative prowess incredibly attractive


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