Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My bi boyfriend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: My bi boyfriend
Allianora
Neophyte
Member # 3051

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Allianora     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've been with Brian for 7 months now, and I am completely and utterly in love with him. He is with me as well. We are planning to be married in a little more than a year. I've always known that he was bisexual, and I have no problem with it. Recently, since we've gotten more serious, there are certain things that are coming up. Today he told me that he wants to experiment with other men. That he will never let me go, he loves me more than anything and that leaving me would be a stupid move on his part, but he does want to see what it's like, just once even if that's all it is, just to know and not spend the rest of his life wondering. I'm okay with the idea, but something scares me. What if he likes it, likes the guy, and starts to look at me different, because I can never give him that? I know he will never leave me, and he does not want to be with any other, but I guess I am kind of scared of how exactly he would go about something like that. He says that he will only do it if I am okay with it, and that I can be with him, to watch, if I want to, if I want nothing else... and I don't know what to say. I don't know what to think. I love this boy to death! but what do I say when he is having sexual fantasies about other men? And how do I tell him that I am okay with it, even if I am a little afraid?

------------------
Shramba teolga sin dombrae ekra falbo sin cral'ae. (May the path that you follow be true to your heart.)


Posts: 6 | From: Hamilton, MA USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
Activist
Member # 1881

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cypher     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't really know what advice to give you other than to talk all of your concerns and fears through with him. Tell him absolutely EVERYTHING. Just get some time with him when the two of you are alone and can be completely serious. And also spend some time on your own thinking about the whole situation yourself. How do you feel about it?

Hope that helps.


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Allianora
Neophyte
Member # 3051

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Allianora     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I plan on talking with him tomorrow about it. The main problem is he is in England and I'm in the US and I kinda can't get to him right now. I won't be with him again till June. He was going to wait until we are together to tell me, but I could tell it there was something on his mind, that he wanted to get it out. I've talked with a good friend of mine, and I guess the only real fear I have is that he will like it, and will want it more, we end up in a "love triangle" and I'm not sure what part of that I would end up in. I know he loves me, and I know I love him. It's just, you don't just walk up to random people on the street and say "hey you wanna have sex with me?" There is going to be something more than that there. So where would I stand in that situation? I think that he just wants to experiment once, he said even if it's just once, and that I am okay with, I am fine with him liking that sort of thing, but with our relationship as strong as it is, to the point of us planning on getting married early next year, I am getting a bit scared. Just worried I guess.... that he might enjoy himself too much. *sigh*

------------------
Shramba teolga sin dombrae ekra falbo sin cral'ae. (May the path that you follow be true to your heart.)


Posts: 6 | From: Hamilton, MA USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I don't see how this is any different from any heterosexual relationship where the guy who loves his girlfriend dearly says to the girlfriend that he wants to meet and/or sleep with other women.

does the idea of him sleeping with other people regardless of whether they are male or female bother you? then it bothers you and you have a right to say so.

------------------
This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
Activist
Member # 2050

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lin     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm with Gumdrop. If it bothers you, tell him. It you do not want him to be with another man, tell him. And really, you have every right to tell him about it.

Or look at it this way. Sorry to be blunt but maybe he isn't ready for marriage or a long term committment if he wants to experiment now. Maybe he should go experiment all he wants before he committs.

Or maybe you guys should consider a polyamorous relationship. I think you should tell him how you really feel about this issue. And talk it through. Tell him if he is going to be upset that you don't want him to be involved with another man sexually, maybe he is not ready to committ.

Sounds harsh hon but do you really want to spend your life guessing? You need to sit down and ask yourself what you want and tell it to him. Gd luck sweetie.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3