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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Siblings and sexuality

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Author Topic: Siblings and sexuality
Member # 2254

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A different post on siblings--sorry! I honestly thought of this much early this morning, I'm not trying to "compete" or anything.

How many of you have talked to your sibs about sex/safer sex? Do you think your older siblings made it easier for your parents to deal with your sexuality? Do you find yourself worrying about what your younger siblings are doing? Etc.

I was thinking that my little brother would perhaps benefit from Scarleteen, and then I was thinking how awkward that would be since I post so much here... anyone feel the same way? Are there any sibling pairs here? My little brother and I talk about LOTS of stuff, and that has included sex and romance... I kinda wish I could provide him with "older male experience," but of course, I can't. He's so uncomfortable about being a teenager. And I just love him to death...


Posts: 257 | From: Sarasota, FL | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2101

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Well being a middle child, I've got some words from my older brother and sister.

My sister says this: 'Keep you legs shut', 'I sure hope you're not having sex', 'Why would you want to have sex? It's not that great', 'You see what happens when you have sex, 2 kids and one on the way', 'Oh-my-god, are your friends having sex?', 'No one likes a slut', 'Ew you kissed a boy already.' Golly there's alot more!

My older brother: 'If a guy only wants sex from you, he's not worth it.'

Yeah that's about it. As for me talking to my little bro about sex. Well I don't know. I wouldn't know what to say. My this thread will help me some.

To be a princess is to be an actress, but not necessarily a good one.
Don't dream your life, live your dream

Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1207

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Awsome topic Eclipse!

As i said earlier, my sister is 2 years younger than me (I'm just about to be 17 ... in 13 days!) ... And she never likes to talk about sex. She was 12 years old before her and my mom had the "birds and the bees" talk. She just didn't want to hear it.

But she comes to me once in a while. Her and her bf aren't really at the stage yet where safe sex is an issue, but I feel better knowing that when the time comes, she'll come to me. I don't think she's really comfortable talking to my mom yet, only b/c mom still thinks she's too young (she's the baby).

I know my sister could benefit from Scarleteen, but as you said, it would be really weird knowing that she knows who i am and she's floating around here reading what i post I don't know one single soul here, in person, and it's a lot easier to post my true feelings knowing that. As much as i'd want her here, she's rarely online. She just comes on to check her email and talk to a few people on icq ...

I've always been really comfortable talking about sex, so it's great that my sis is almost at 'that age' ... LOL I can't wait to have the safe sex talk!! I can do a lil presentation complete w/ diaphragms and speculums and spermicide just like they did in my health class

[This message has been edited by LilBlueSmurf (edited 03-10-2001).]

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2254

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My little brother went to a highschool dance last night! With a *girl*! And he was the first one to dance! And he was all dressed up! Damn, that kid's growing up without me...

(Hey, a highschool dance is a big deal when you don't go to school... )

Posts: 257 | From: Sarasota, FL | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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Let's put it this way. My brother is 12. He found a porn story in my room a few months ago and totally freaked out on me.

Saying it was wrong and bad and blah blah blah. Geez, even my parents didn't say that. Anyhow, I tried to get talking to him and explain that it isn't necessarily wrong and stuff like that.

But he just screamed and screamed and refused to listen to me. So, that's our first sex talk for you.

I will probably talk to him about it when he is in Secondary School. He is at the stage now where girls suck. And anything to do with sex is "eeee".

But I also think he could benefit from Scarleteen. Heck, 99% of the population would.

And yep. Great topic Eclipse hon.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1896

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great topic, Eclipse!

I'm the younger one, my brother is 5 years older - and we've only rarely talked about sex in a serious manner.
He frequnetly used my sexuality to make fun of me when I was younger, he did that all the bloody time. I was relatively promiscous as a teen and he used to tease me in regard to the partners that I had. I remember on one particular occasion - several family members were visiting, and I ahd been in my room with a friend (a friend of mine had jsut died and we'd basically been crying togther for a few hours), when he welcoemd us in the living room with the words "Ah, so I see you're dressed again?". Lovely.
Sometimes, he still gets out the same old stories - and we're talking about things that happens 6 years ago! Urgh.

In regards how he influenced how my parents thought about their kids' sexuality, his behaviour didn't make it easier for me or whatever. He was even more promiscous than me (and more openly in front of my parents) and prompted my Dad to frequently explain that it wasn't accepted in his household that there was a different girl at the family breakfast table each Sunday. (Which is fine, if I think about it - my parent's house, my parent's rules)

So I basically completely kept my sexuality to myself for years and years and made sure my parents only knew about my relationships that they'd accept. Not the best way, I'd say, looking back on it.

Even though my relationship with my brother has generally improves, I can't IMAGINE, having a decent discussion on sex with him EVER. Not because he's my brother, but because he's just not someome I'd discuss Sex with. And he's not good at discussions anyway.
Hope you all manage to have better discussions on sex with your younger sibs than we did!

"I am capable of, but sometimes not interested in making myself happy."

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1168

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Well I'm an only child, but I think it also has to do with recommending the site to friends. It's not that I don't think some of my friends would be great here, it's that I can be really honest here and I don't know if I would be if I knew anyone IRL who also posted here.
Posts: 303 | From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2696

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*wouldn't know*
only child...........
I talk to my mom......

Posts: 23 | From: in the middle of somewheres and nowheres | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 607

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My sister is 15 and we talk about safer sex and sex related issues every so often. And she *does* in fact read these boards because I showed them to her and her friends and they told me they have learned a lot here. It doesn't bother me that people I know read what I say....I have no secrets.

But for the most part my sister and I disagree with many issues of sex. She is very conservative, thinks casual sex is "dirty" and wrong (she thinks just kissing someone you're not "with" is wrong). I, on the other hand, am open to all sorts of sexual relationships and relationships in general. She has actually made me feel bad for some of my sexual choices, because she's SO conservative. I hear, "Oh, that's dirty," a lot when I talk to her about my sexual encounters with guys.

We do talk about sex though, and I sometimes find it interesting that we have such different opinions.

}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You just close your eyes slowly like you're waiting for a kiss, and hope some lowly little power will pull you out of this..."

Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 631

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Well, as you might know, I have a younger sister (4 years younger) and now she's 14 (since Jan. 5th) so for her birthday I bought her that book that was suggested on the Scarleteen Shop (the one from Lynda - "What's Happening To My Body - Book For Girls") and she had read it and I also introduced her to the website and board. (I understand you LilBlueSmurf ) She has came here a few times and she knows that I'm there in case she doesn't understand something, although she has never really asked me anything "big".

But I guess that being older is quite difficult because of that: our younger siblings growing up and getting through the same things as us.

We're the only two so I had never someone up there to ask to as my sister but I managed to learn many things by myself. I've been to website, read books and also my mom was always there in case (my dad is kinda closed to talk about sex related topics)

- I hope I shall be able to confide in you conpletely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.

Anne Frank to her journal

Posts: 201 | From: Montreal, Qc, Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3023

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Wow, I just tackled this myself a few days ago. I have two younger siblings--my younger sister is 15. A few weeks ago, I sent her an e-mail (right now I am away from home doing the college thing) and just for fun I mentioned menstruation. Basically, as the oldest, I've always been amused by knowing that my sis didn't want to talk about Those Things with me. We'd never really even talked about menstruation before, either. (Well, we have had one or two conversations about sex because she now knows I'm sexually active and that brought on a host of questions of what my SO and I do in bed. But that was only a short while ago, and we still hadn't really talked about any "female issues" or anything like that. So I just did it in this e-mail to see what would happen. Well she replied and we had a little conversation which was interesting just because we never had discussed it before. And she had a few questions so I referred her to Scarleteen. (FYI, even though this will be my third post, I've been lurking for several months.) Then, on the phone with her a few weeks later I asked her if she'd ever come by here after I suggested it and she said no, so I gave her another sales pitch and said, "Hey, I'm older than you (and I am, by a lot, actually) and even I read it!" I don't know if she ever did come here after that, but if she has, she might remember some of these bits of our conversation if she reads this post...

Luckily, I'm not worried about talking about sex with her, because I'd rather she hear it from me than our parents or something--just my own personal preference... I feel that I'm much more informed about sexual issues than my parents are in certain ways (AIDS, contraception, menstruation when it comes to my dad...)

Anyway, there's one vote for getting your siblings informed and aware of this place!

Posts: 141 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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