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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How many first relationships work out?

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Author Topic: How many first relationships work out?
Cypher
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Hey, everyone!

This is kind of inspired by the whole thread on how many people are still with the person they first had sex with.

I was wondering if anyone here is still with, or knows anyone who is still with, the person they started their first "serious" relationship with. Have any of them turned into happy relationships/lifelong companionships/marriages? I know some people insist that it's ridiculous to stay with your first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, but is it really THAT unheard of? I don't really see why something like that couldn't work out.


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Heather
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I don't know anyone personally who stayed with their first partner from the get-go. However, it is usually more common in less urban areas and in places with smaller populations, to my understanding.

I do however know a couple of people who years later found someone they were with in their teens or in college and got together for the long haul.

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Heather Corinna
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"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


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ErinK
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Well, let's see. I've been with my partner Allan, who I consider my first "serious" relationship, for five years. Since I"m 24 and he's 21, that's a pretty substantial chunk of our lives.

Allan's parents started dating in high school and they've been married for a little over 28 years.

So I think it's possible. But I also know that going into my relationship with Allan, I didn't think "this is the person I'll end up spending a long time with." I was more thinking "this is the person I want to start a relationship with now."

Erin


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Lin
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Feb 26 will be 3 years. My current bf is my first bf, first sex partner.

Hopefully, we will have many more years together.


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emsily0
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i know one couple that has been together since 9th grade, and i think they were each others' first kiss. me, i can't imagine only ever having kissed one person.

em

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Love is a word that is constantly heard
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But hating, my boy, is an art.
-Ogden Nash


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Lin
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I've only ever kissed one guy em.

And really, I would be happy having only kissed one guy the rest of my life.

I really don't understand why having only kissed one guy or only have made love to one guy is such a scary thought?


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Ella
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I know two people who are in long term relationships that are their first. One friend, lets call her Amy has been with her boyfriend since they were both 12. Amy is now 19, so that's 7 years. Another friend has been with her boyfriend for 3 years much of that time spent apart. I don't see why it couldn't work, it just requires extreme luck to find the right person on the first try.
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Heather
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I think too, it's important how we qualify a realtionship "working out."

Because a relationships does not last a lifetime, or does not continue to be a romatic or sexual relationship for an entire lifetime doesn't mean it hasn't "worked out."

For the most part, if most of us realized that a healthy relationship for any of us meant it was good for both people involved in whatever way for as long as it made them happy meant it "worked," we'd all probably value our relationships a lot more, and be better able to realistically assess them.

I've had plenty of relationships in my life that have changed as we grew, or that petered out or ended in one way or another, but that doesn't mean they were failures: they were good for that person and I when we had them, and they usually remain good as they change and shift.


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Cypher
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What I meant by "worked out" was that it was still continuing.
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Heather
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I understood that, but what I was suggesting was that perhaps we open our minds up a little and realize that a lifelong relationship with the same parameters it had 40 years back is only one idea of relationship success, and a limited one at that.

Thas'all.


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Cypher
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Thanks! I was just wondering because I'm currently in a relationship I feel very strongly about and it's something I think could very well last for the rest of my life. At least, I'd like it to.
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glitter695
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awwww thats so sweet. I hope it will last that long for you, thats what I want to.... My boyfriend and I already planned what our baby boy name is going to be. (when were READY OF COURSE!!) hehe, ohhh love, is a KRAZY thing.

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[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 02-19-2001).]


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DrQuack5
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My aunt and uncle, actually, have been together forever. They met when they were 16, they started going out. Then they eventually got married. Last year my uncle retired and they're both 60 or 61. That's quite the long time.
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momma cat
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I'm not in a romantic relationship with my first boyfriend, but in the 5 years since we've become very close. The best part is how close I've become to his whole family: he and his brother refer to me as their sister, and his parents call me their daughter. I'm up at college now, but I call and keep in touch, and they'd let me call collect if I need to. One night when my soon to be ex-boyfriend was treating me like cr@p yet again I cried so hard I was to tired to drive myself home and they insisted I stay in the guest bedroom for the night. I love them all and I hope we remain "family" for a long time.
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Daniel
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Well, I'm still in my first relationship (first kiss, first sex, etc), and although it's been going for only three months, I really do feel it will last a long, long time, if not forever.

Maybe everyone thinks this when they have a loving relationship, but I seem to thik my erelationsihp is "special"... I am totally and utterly in love her and we've already made plans for the next six months. I hope they work out


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Rizzo
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My love and I were each other's "firsts" and we've been together over two years. We now live together and it seems to be "working out" in every sense.

I think for a lot of people the first has a special place in their hearts... perhaps unconciously, I want to stay with my boyfriend because he is the first and I know I'll never forget him. There's something sentimental and innocent and mushy sugary saccharine sweet about it


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ningrrl
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My current boyfriend and I were our firsts...We've been dating for a year and 3 months. We plan to have many more years added. I have such a thrilling, yet comfortable connection to him.

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